


Of oaths and freedom

by NightlyEvilTM



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV), game of thrones
Genre: Alternative season 8, Braime - Freeform, Canon Divergence, F/M, Happy Ending, Jon and Jaime bromance, Past Cersei Lannister/Jaime Lannister, Post 7x06, Romance, jaime and brienne deserved better, jaime&brienne, jon and jaime bonding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-03-07 09:32:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 29,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18870502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightlyEvilTM/pseuds/NightlyEvilTM
Summary: Starts after 7x06, from there goes well into season 8, with its own timeline and course of events."He was finally free of Cersei. He could breathe again. As he headed north, he wondered what fate awaited him there. He wouldn't blame the Starks if they cut off his head. But it seems Brienne had rubbed off on him. He rode north-to fight the war that mattered, and to her."Multi-chapter





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is also (and originally) posted on fanfiction.net.  
> Ok, so I started this just after 7x06 aired, based on the spoilers for 7x07. That is why the dragonpit meeting and the Jaime&Cersei conversation are different than they were in the show. I wrote the first 9 chapters fast, then I abandoned the fanfic, until 8x02 aired. There is almost a 2-year gap between writing chapter 9 and chapter 10. This is one of the reasons it differs so much from canon.  
> Still, I hope you will enjoy it.  
> I have no beta, and English is not my mother tongue, so I make mistakes, for which I apologize.

As they all stood there, in the Dragonpit, each ‘ruler’ waiting for the other one’s trap, Jamie Lannister looked at Brienne of Tarth. He had not expected to see her. He assumed lady Sansa would come herself. But he found himself glad she did not and had sent the lady knight in her place. It was good seeing Brienne again. Even though she confused him. When he was around her, the not so young now knight felt unworthy, not good enough. She was just so damn good, honorable, noble. He had never met anyone with such an intense sense of duty and with such strong moral compass as “The Wench”, as he used to call her. Compared to her, no man or woman he knew was worth even a single golden dragon. And yet, around Brienne, Jaime felt like he could do better, be something more. And that glimmer of hope, that gave him purpose. And he savored it. Because lately, around Cersei, doing her bidding, he felt more lost than ever before in his whole life.  
Brienne looked at his direction and her sapphire eyes met his. She smiled a little and nodded at him. He smiled back. Instantly, he understood that Cersei had noticed their interaction – she drew a sharp breath and stiffened. Jaime found himself not really caring.

And so after the Daenerys Targaryen arrived on top of her dragon and Euron Greyjoy taunted his nephew, the self proclaimed King in the north, Ned Stark’s bastard, Jon Snow, started telling them tales of the white walkers and that there is much more important war coming and they need to unite to face the common enemy. Jaime could tell Cersei was unimpressed. Her eyes were fixated on the Targaryen girl. But then the Hound brought the cage with the creature in it and let it loose. At that moment, Jaime understood how meaningless all of the wars till now were. Lannister, Baratheon, Targaryen, Stark… It didn’t matter who was on that damned throne. What mattered was to save the realm, the people from that danger. The northerners showed them that wights could not be killed except with dragonglass or fire and claimed that the white walkers can be killed only by dragonglass and Valyrian steel. Jaime found himself reaching for his sword. Widow’s wail. One of the blades forged of Ned Stark’s Ice. The other one being Oathkeeper. He found himself looking at Brienne again. He could tell it was the first time she saw the creature, too. He could see the determination in her eyes and the faint traces of fear he was sure no one else would be able to notice.

Euron Greyjoy proved himself a coward, eager to say he was leaving. Cersei and Daenerys bickered over who will rule after the long night. And Jaime just wanted to smack them both. What did it matter? He honestly couldn’t care less. When Jon Snow proclaimed he would only serve the Dragon queen and bend the knee to her, Cersei left angry. Jaime thought about going after her and making her come to her senses. Just when he is about to follow her, Tyrion stopped him.

“Let me talk to her, brother.”

The two of them looked at each other. Millions of things they said without words. Jaime nodded and let him. It was then when Brienne approached him.

“Ser Jaime…”

He sighed.

“To hell with the formalities, Brienne. We are way past that.”

A faint smile graced her lips again. He liked seeing her smile.

“Jaime, you saw that thing. If we don’t unite and fight as one… None of us will survive.”

“I know. I always thought the Walkers existed only in the stories that wet nurses scared children with. But this… I saw Daenerys’s dragon burn my men, I came at a horse’s length from that beast’s mouth as it was about to burn me alive. But, fuck, nothing had terrified me as much as this creature. We need to fight beyond the wall.”

He could see the horror on Brienne’s face when she listening to his story about the dragon. He noticed her slightly flinch and tremble. But she composed herself at once.

“She loves you. She trusts you. She will listen to you. Please, you have to convince her to see reason.”

He closed his eyes and sighed. Cersei listened to no one but herself. But he had to find a way.

“I will try.”

At that moment, his siblings returned. Tyrion took his place on Daenerys’s side. Cersei stood next to him and said that she would send troops North to fight the common enemy. Jaime sighed in relief. Maybe she wasn’t lost after all.

* * *

  
Later, after the ‘guests’ had left, Jaime was looking at the map and trying to figure out a strategy. He was so occupied he didn’t hear the footsteps approaching him.

“What are you doing?”

He turned around and saw Cersei walk toward him, the Mountain right behind her, as always. That abomination never left her side.

“Working on the plan of the attack. We should gather as many men as possible and send them North. I should ride there myself and…”

“We won’t be sending anyone North,” she said calmly. Jaime couldn’t understand what she meant.

“What do you mean? We should gather the troops as fast as possible and I should go and discuss our next step with Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen. The dead march south as we speak!”

Cersei took a seat and smiled.

“They have their dragonglass, her dragons. They should manage. And if they don’t, my enemies will be gone without any effort.”

Jamie stared at her in shock. Has she lost her mind?

“You promised to send troops. Cersei, you saw that…”

“I did. But that doesn’t mean I meant a word of it. I won’t help that bastard and the Mad King’s daughter who is just waiting for a sign of weakness to take my throne. As we speak, Euron Greyjoy is going to hire the Golden Company. I will only get stronger when my enemies grow weaker. I will let them fall fighting in the North, and whatever remains of them, I will crush afterward.”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. She kept speaking, and all he could think about was “Who is this woman?”

“Cersei…”

“It’s not up for discussion. I am the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and my decision is final. Don’t you see? This way we will secure my rule, the rule of our child after that and…”

“Don’t you dare use the child, Cersei! Have you gone completely mad? You saw that thing! There are hundreds of thousands like it. The Night King is getting closer to the Wall in that very moment. This is about survival, not about power!”

“Power is survival, Jaime. Our power. You, me, the child, house Lannister. If father was alive, he would’ve done the same.”

“No! He may have loved power, but he was reasonable. But Aerys Targaryen would’ve approved your way of ruling!”

And then she slapped him.

“How dare you compare me to the Mad King?”

“You blew up the Sept with wildfire. Hundreds and thousands of innocent people.”

“I had to, the Tyrells…”

“Tommen died because of you and your lust for power!”

Cersei took a step back and looked at him horrified.

“You don’t mean that.”

He couldn’t keep it together, he could not control himself.

“I do! You knew he loved Margery. And you killed her and so many innocent people because you felt she was taking everything from you. Myrcella died because you insulted and hurt the Dornish. And now you are ready to let the army of the dead march through Westeros because you lust for power? All you care about is that wretched, damned throne. You are far worse than the Mad King! And I am done. I never want to see you, or hear your name again.”

With that, he turned and left. He could hear her calling his name, but he never looked back. Finally, he was free.


	2. Chapter 2

Jaime had managed to take a little more than 300 men with him. He had hoped for more, but the soldiers were afraid of Cersei. No one believed that what happened in the Great Sept of Balor was an accident. Everyone knew what could come of the queen’s wrath. And right now, he was Cersei’s enemy. She had probably put a price on his head. He couldn’t care less. The mere thought of her now repulsed him. While before, it filled him with love, joy, lust.

They were heading north. Cersei may have not cared about the worth of her word, but he damn well did. He may have not before, but now he did. Thanks to Brienne, promises and oaths now meant a lot to him now. She had had bigger influence on him that he had imagined possible.

Jaime was deep in his thoughts when Bronn’s voice brought him back to reality.

“You know you’re a dead man the second you set foot in Winterfell, don’t you, cunt?”

Jaime had thought about it. The Starks had every reason to cut off his head. He crippled Bran, his family murdered Ned, Robb and Catelyn Stark. They had installed the Boltons in Winterfell. Ramsay Bolton killed the youngest Stark boy and rumors said he did unimaginable things to Sansa. He wouldn’t blame them if they put his head on a spike. He truly wouldn’t. Hell, if it was him in their place, he would’ve wanted to slowly torture every one of the people he thought responsible for all those perils. There was also Daenerys Targaryen. He had himself killed her father, the Mad King. He doubted she would be forgiving.

“Maybe. Maybe they will see reason and let us help them against the damn Others and f we get out of that alive, only then will justice be served.”

If he was honest, he deserved to die. He knew it. For most of his life, he had been selfish, arrogant. He broke every oath he had ever sworn. He committed countless sins. He failed. As a brother, as Kingsguard, as a man, as a father. There were times he wished for death. He just hoped he would die with dignity.

“That wench has really rubbed off on you, hasn’t she?” Bronn chuckled.

“Don’t call her that! To you, she is Lady Brienne of Tarth.” Jaime hissed with anger.

“Easy there! One would think she was more than a traveling companion.”

Jaime sighed. Bronn could never understand the moral and honor of Brienne. There was no point in trying to understand. So he tried to change the subject.

“Let me ask you a question, Bronn. You know that with leaving King’s Landing, I am a pariah. I won’t be able to pay you or give you the damn castle you so desperately want. Why the hell did you come with me?”

“Always wanted to fuck a wildling and I heard Winterfell is full of them now.”

Jaime shook his head. There was no hope for Bronn.

* * *

 

As he rode towards the gates of Winterfell, so close no, Jaime Lannister was reminded of the first time he was at the Stark’s home. The feelings of regret and shame overwhelmed him. He knew damn well he could die in a matter of minutes after he set foot there. Still, he knew what he wanted. He wanted to the right thing.

He could see the gates open. He expected it. The guards must have spotted him and his men. A rider was heading toward them. He could spot the thick black hair and the inner grace with which he carried himself. He had seen now too many kings and queens in his life, but that bastard, Jon Snow, was the only one who, to him, represented what a king should be. Rhaegar Targaryen had been that way. If only he had won against Robert Baratheon.

“Kingslayer. What are you doing at our gates?”

“I come in peace, Lord Snow.”

“Fuck these formalities, Lannister. You know damn well I am no lord, but a bastard. What do you want?”

Jaime could sense his distrust, his anger.

“Cersei lied to you.”

Worry and shock covered the young wolf’s face. Still, he looked surprisingly graceful still.

“She has no intention of sending troops to fight the walkers. She hopes they crush you and Daenerys so that she can remain on her fucking throne. And I… I can’t accept that, milord. I gathered as many men of the Lannister army as I could convince. Most were scared of Cersei or riding north in winter, or both. I got only 300 men. But each one of us will fight beside you against the Others. You have our swords, and you have my word that I, Jaime Lannister, will help you defeat the Night King, even if I die in this war.”

He couldn’t quite read Jon Snow’s expression. A thousand things were probably going around inside his head. He was just a boy, just a few years older than Joffrey would’ve been had he not died, with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“And what good is your word, ser Jaime? The word of a Kingslayer, a man who fathered his sister’s children and presented them as Robert Baratheon’s, the man who crippled my brother Barn, just an innocent child, because he caught you and Cersei? What good is the word of a man without honor?”

Jaime was used to all the name calling. He was aware he deserved it. But he also knew that they needed his help.

“Maybe to you, it’s worth nothing. I can’t take away the past. To say I am sorry won’t give your brother his legs back. You have every right to draw your sword to me here and now. And if you do, my men will still fight for you against the army of the dead. But I think I can help you. I have far more war experience than any of your advisors. And I want to fight for the living. After that, I am ready to withstand a trial. But now, as you said, we need to unite. These abominations are getting closer and closer as we speak. Are you, Jon Snow, a man of your word? As your father was. I think you are. And if I am right, you will let me fight this war with you.”

He could see the boy knew he needed all the help he could get.

“You stay away from my brother, Kingslayer.”

For the first time in a really, really long time, Jaime had a purpose. He felt he was about to do something with true meaning. And that, that was glorious.


	3. Chapter 3

Passing through the yard, he ignored the whispers, the hateful looks. Jaime just wanted to rest. If his mind would let him, that was. Lately, sleep almost never found him. His thoughts were haunted. And the saw her again. Brienne of Tarth. Sparring with Podrick. He smiled, he was glad the lad had survived. He watched them for a while. The squire had gotten better, for sure. But he still had a lot to learn.

“If you are ever fighting someone like Lady Brienne, don’t try to outpower them. It would be in vain. If you want to win a fight like this, you should learn how to dodge, par, to be fast and smart.”

Brienne looked at him. She was surprised to see him, he could tell. And maybe glad, or he just wanted to think so.

“Ser Jaime.”

“Come on, Brienne. I told you. To you, I am and will always be just Jaime. Now, you want us to show them kids how it’s done? Like the old times?”

She chuckled.

“I was better than you when you still had your two hands.”

He smiled back.

“Don’t forget who saved you in Harenhall, unarmed and one-handed. Come on, spar with me.”

He drew his sword. He and Brienne began to circle around one another. She was the first to lunge at him, he pared her skillfully. He attacked, she dodged. And again. The blades met with a ring that could only be made by Valyrian steel. And again. It was like a dance. One moment he had an advantage, the next it was her who had the upper hand.  They could do this all day, it seemed. Jaime felt excitement, thrill. He could sense Brienne felt it too. It was familiar, yet exciting.

“Just fuck already and save us from this torture.”

Bronn’s remark distracted them both, but it seemed it affected Brienne more, as she forgot to pay attention. Jaime grabbed her sword with his golden arm and threw it aside. Widow’s wail pointed at her chest.

“Seems this time you beat me.”

He smiled. She did too. They both fastened their swords on their belts and moved closer to one another.

“You got better.”

“And you got too distracted.”

She looked straight at him. Sapphire eyes pierced green ones.

“What are you doing here?”

He sighed.

“I came to fight with all of you. But it’s a long story. “

Brienne just nodded.  And then she spoke.

“I am glad I didn’t have to face you on that battlefield. I am glad I didn’t have to fight you for real. For I don’t know how I would’ve forced myself to do it.”

Jaime smiled.

“I am glad too.”

There was a silence – on some level awkward and on some level comforting. Then Brienne turned to leave, but he grabbed her wrist.

“Come to me tonight. I… I really need to talk to someone. To you.”

She looked at him and nodded.

“I will.”

And with that, she left. He looked at her till she disappeared from his sight.

“That one over there didn’t like your talk.”

Bronn was pointing toward a large redheaded man covered in furs. “A wildling”, Jaime thought. It seems his reputation was common knowledge even with them.  He sighed. He really needed that rest.

* * *

 The Starks welcomed him at their table. Which was more than he could hope for. Of course, everyone looked at him with suspicion. No one talked to him. But he could expect that much. And he couldn’t blame them. When he saw both Stark sisters there, he, for the first time in ages, felt proud. That, in some way, he helped and fulfilled his oath. And then Jon Snow brought his brother in his wheeled chair. Jaime’s heart clenched. The guilt suffocated him. He could not move, he could not blink, he could not speak. The boy looked at him. He seemed so different. What had he done?

Jaime managed to pull himself from his chair. He went to the boy and kneeled, so he could look him in the eyes.

“Lord Stark, do you remember me?”

His stare was so empty like he was but a shell of a human being.

“I do. How could I forget the man who threw me off that tower?”

Jaime closed his eyes. Seven hells, this was harder than he thought.

“Lord Stark… Bran, I was a selfish, cruel man when I did that. And I was afraid. For me, for my sister. I know it is no excuse for what I did. I will carry the burden of what I did to you till I draw my last breath. But I want you to know I regret it every day. I am sorry. I can’t make up for what I did. But once I promised your mother I will help to bring her daughters home. And indeed here they are. Now, I can promise you that - no harm will come to you or your family from me or my men. I will protect you and your siblings for as long as I live. I know this might not mean anything to you, but I am giving you my word, I have changed, and…”

“I know you have. I know you helped Brienne of Tarth to save my sisters. I know you had no part in the Red Wedding. I know you opposed your sister when she refused to send the troops. And I know why you killed the Mad King.”

Jaime was in shock. He looked at Jon Snow for some sort of explanation.

“Bran is a greenseer now. The most powerful one. He has visions – of the past, the present, the future.”

Jaime looked back at the boy and couldn’t believe his eyes and ears.

“In a way, I am grateful for what you did, ser Jaime. I wouldn’t have become the Three-Eyed Raven had you not pushed me from that tower. And then we both would not be able to play our parts in the war to come. For we both have our roles in the fight with the long night. I may not really be Brandon Stark anymore, but I forgive you for what you did to him.”

Jaime could only just whisper “Thank you” as Jon Snow pushed his brother’s chair to the table.

He saw Brienne look at them. He met her eyes and pleaded her with his gaze. For he needed her so much. And he knew she understood and would, as always, rescue him. This time from the madness of his own thoughts.

* * *

 It was around midnight when he heard the knock on the door and opened it. There she stood, fulfilling her promise, as always.

“I hope I didn’t wake you. I wanted to wait till everyone was asleep so that we could talk without worrying who might hear us.”

He just nodded and let her in. They both sat on his bed. He sighed. How could he start?

“That mustn’t have been easy for you. To talk to Bran Stark.”

He was grateful that she lifted the weight of beginning the conversation from his thoughts.

“It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But I needed to do it. Seeing him, it reminded me of the man I used to be. Of the man I am afraid I still am.”

“You are a good man, Jamie.”

He looked her in the eyes. He felt he needed to for what he was about to say.

“I left Cersei.”

Brienne looked utterly surprised. She opened her mouth but stopped. She was obviously thinking about what to say. And then she asked the question probably everyone was asking in their mind.

“May I ask why? She is your sister, your queen, your lover. You do love her.”

Jaime looked away from her. His chest, his head, his whole body were heavy.

“I… I don’t know anything anymore. Ever since I came back one-handed, it was never the same. She rejected me back then. And I, I was holding on to what we used to have so desperately. And then we started losing our children, one after another.”

Brienne listened to him very carefully. She was patient. One of her many qualities.

“You know, I was there when each one of them was born. And, Gods, I loved them from the minute I saw them. But I was never allowed to be their father. I couldn’t even be close to them as an uncle of fear someone might suspect the truth. And I longed to be close to them, to be their father in every sense of the word. But I couldn’t. I could only watch them from afar. Joffrey, my eldest. He was so cruel, so arrogant. I never approved the things he was doing. But I still loved him. And when I saw him die that horrible death, I knew I had failed. As a man, as Kingsguard, as a father. Something inside me died that day. And Myrcella, my only daughter. She was so beautiful and so good. I went to Dorne to rescue her. And when we were finally going back home, she came to me. She told me she knew the truth. “I am glad you are my father,” she said. And then I took her in my arms, and for the first time in my life, I felt complete. And then she died. Right there, in my arms. Poisoned by the Dornish under my watch. I just wanted to die right then and there with her. And Tommen. My baby boy, the total opposite of Joffrey – sweet, innocent. I came back to King’s Landing, saw the burning Sept and rode straight for the Red Keep. And I saw them covering his body. He threw himself from a window. I ran to them and demanded them to remove the cloth they had put over him. When they refused, I did it myself. There he lied. My poor boy. Broken, his face unrecognizable. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of his eyes, still open. They had to make the Mountain pull me away from him.”

His voice was trembling. He could feel tears burning in his eyes but he fought them with everything he could

“I am so sorry,” Brienne said softly. They stood there in silence. For how long he could only guess.

“She’s pregnant.”

He could hear her draw a deep breath. He knew what she was about to ask.

“Then why did you leave her?”

He looked at her again. Even in the barely lit room, her sapphire eyes were piercing.

“She blew up the Sept. To get rid of her enemies. To secure her rule. She burned them all. And now, she is ready to let the army of the dead march through Westeros if it means she still sits on the damn throne.”

Jaime diverted his gaze again. He needed to let it all out, he couldn’t bear this weight upon his chest any longer

“Did she change? Or have I always been blind? I knew she was selfish and power hungry and cruel at times, but this? This is madness surpassing that of Aerys Targaryen. And I… I can’t stand there and watch the realm be destroyed, the people die, because of her obsession with power. I can’t… I can’t welcome another child and lose it because of her ruthlessness when it comes to her crown.”

He was shaking, the tears were filling his eyes, despite his effort to fight them. He felt one of Brienne’s hand on his left hand, the other one on the stump which usually his golden hand was covering. He looked at her. He could feel her warmth, her empathy. He could sense that her heart was bleeding for him and for his poor children.

“It is not your fault. You couldn’t have saved any of them. Joffrey, Myrcella, you had no way to know they would be poisoned. You weren’t there to stop Tommen.”

Her voice was soft, tender. Almost loving.

“I was their father, I was supposed to protect them.”

“And you did, as much as anyone could’ve protected them.”

“But I didn’t protect them from her.”

He closed his eyes. He still felt Brienne’s gaze on him as he spoke.

“Joffrey… Olenna Tyrell poisoned him because of who he was. Maybe that was his nature. But I’ve always asked myself ‘Would he still have been so cruel had he been raised by two loving parents, without being heir to the Iron Throne?’ I guess I could never know. Myrcella was poisoned by Ellarya Sand because of what happened to Oberyn Martell – something Cersei orchestrated. And Tommen. He was so in love with Margery Tyrell. Cersei knew. She knew he loved her and she knew he was fragile and she still killed her and a bunch of innocent people because she felt Margery was replacing her.”

Jaime opened his eyes. He was almost choking now, from the pain, the anger, the tears. He felt as if he was going to explode from all of it, had it not been for Brienne’s hands holding him.

“And now, she saw that monstrosity. She promised she would send help. Yet, she never planned on doing that. She wants the Walkers to destroy Daenerys and Jon Snow so that they don’t threaten her rule, even if it means Westeros will be destroyed along with them. At that moment, I saw her. I really saw her for the mad monster she is. And I turned my back on her. She screamed my name, but I never looked back. I was finally free of her. I could breathe. But with that… With that came the realization of everything I have ever done. And the guilt. It haunts me, Brienne, it as its claws so deep inside me that sometimes I feel it's tearing me apart.”

Brienne then kneeled in front of him and looked straight into his eyes. She drew a deep breath and spoke softly.

“You have paid a high price for your sins. And you have changed, Jaime. That guilt, it shows you changed. The way you looked at the Stark boy and the oath you swore to him, it is the way to absolution.”

He shook his head.

“There will be no absolution for the Kingslayer, I will burn in the Seven Hells.”

“Jaime. Your name is Jaime.”


	4. Chapter 4

For the first time in weeks, Jaime slept through the night. Talking to Brienne, letting it all out, it... Liberated him. The guilt, the pain, the anger, they were still there. But the weight on his shoulders, the tightness around his chest, they were more bearable.

When he went to the Great Hall to speak to Jon Snow, he saw everyone there – Sansa, Arya, Davos, Brienne. He smiled softly at her and she responded with a slight nod. The King in the North came to him. He looked determined, strong. He reminded Jaime of Ned Stark, so honorable and rightful. But also, once again, he saw a bit of the last Targaryen prince in the young wolf.

“Ser Jaime, I wish to speak with you in private. Would you walk with me?”

Jaime nodded and followed him to the yard. It was snowing yet again, every minute colder than the last.

“You should know that your apology doesn’t change much for me. Bran may have forgiven you, but I can’t and I doubt I ever will.”

Jaime sighed. He expected that.

“I understand. If someone had done that to Tyrion, I would have killed them with my bare hands.”

“Last night my brother said he knew why you killed the Mad King? What did he mean?”

He expected that. He had no illusions Bran’s words would pass unnoticed.

“With all due respect, Lord Snow, this is not something I intend to discuss with you.”

“Ser Jaime, I am not asking out of curiosity. I am asking because, in a few hours, Queen Daenerys Targaryen will arrive from Dragonstone. And I doubt she will be welcoming and forgiving toward the man who stabbed her father in the back.”

This translated to “In a few hours, her dragon will probably finish what he started during the battle.”

“Still this is not a matter I wish to discuss.”

Jon stopped walking and stood in front of him.

“You are risking your life. Daenerys, she has a good heart. But the blood of the Dragon runs in her veins. She can be impulsive. If you tell me the reason why you did it, I may be able to talk to her and convince her to not act out of vengeance. And while I have no warm feelings toward you, you were right. You have huge experience, and we need your help.”

Jaime knew that he was probably right, that that boy was giving him wise advice. And he knew taking it would be the reasonable call.

“You took an oath when you joined the Night’s Watch, right? But now you are not in Castle Black, you are here, you were crowned King in the North.”

Jon was about to say something, but Jaime didn’t let him.

“I am not judging or blaming you, nor am I asking for your reasons. You and I, we both swore oaths that we thought we would keep. And we both in one way or another broke them. I am sure you had a fair reason to make the choices that you made. You are an honorable man. The meeting in the Dragonpit proved it. I am asking you to trust me on this. I had a million reasons to do what I did. And given the choice now, I would’ve done it again. A thousand times.”

For a while, Jon Snow didn’t say a word. Jaime could see at least a bit of understanding in his eyes. The young man sighed.

“Let’s just hope Daenerys will accept that answer.”

* * *

 

Three hours later, Jaime was in his room, thinking about Cersei, Tyrion, Brienne, Jon Snow and everything that was going on, when he heard a sound he would always recognize. Daenerys and her dragons were here. He knew he had to meet her. Part of him was afraid. But not of dying. Of dying before he had done something that mattered.

Jaime stood up and reached for his golden hand. He took it and looked at it. Then he tossed it aside and headed to the Great hall.

And there she was. The Mad King’s daughter, the Mother of Dragons. Beautiful and strong, that much he could say. When she looked at him, he could see her eyes change, he could see the anger, the fire.

“What is he doing here?”

Jon Snow was about to explain to her, but Jaime wanted to do it himself.

“I came here to tell you the truth. Cersei lied to you, she never planned on sending our forces to fight the Others. She wants the Walkers to kill you so that she could keep her throne. So I felt King’s Landing, a treasonous act for which I bet she has now offered a big bag of gold for my head, and came here, with all the men I could gather, to help you. I made a promise, and despite what anyone thinks of me, I am a man of my word. I will fight for the living, beside you. My men will fight for you even after my eventual death. I will help you in any way that I can because this is the only thing that matters. If you let me, I will help in any way that I can – with my experience and knowledge, with my sword, even if I die fighting.”

Jaime could see she was not moved by his speech.

“Not long ago, you tried to kill me. Had it not been for Drogon, you would have succeeded. You are Cersei’s brother, her lover. What reason could you have to fight for me?”

“Cersei is gone. The Cersei I knew or thought I knew, the sister and woman that I loved, she is gone. All that’s left is a mad woman who worships power over life itself. She would let these creatures destroy the realm if it means she stays queen. And I cannot accept that. I chose to fight for the living. I chose to fight the dead. And I will fight them with you.”

“Until you stab me in the back as you did with my father.”

Tyrion stood up and went to her.

“Your Grace…”

“Quiet, Lord Tyrion. Tell me how do you expect me to trust the Kingsguard who murdered his king, my father? Give me one reason I should not feed you to my dragons.”

Jaime looked her straight in the eyes. He was curious whether she would’ve been so angry had she known her father. How he had found immense pleasure in death. How burning people alive aroused him. How after one of the numerous burnings he would go to her mother and he would force himself on her and hurt her, while she begged him not to hurt her. How he wanted to burn a million people and even while he was dying, he kept repeating “Burn them all, burn them all…”

“You have none. I knew when I came here that both you and the Starks might kill me on the spot. It is a risk I was willing to take. You have no reason to trust me. But I am asking this of you. Let me help you, let me fight with you. And if we succeed and we make it, I will accept any punishment you and House Stark see fit. But before justice is served, let’s defeat the enemy.”

Daenerys was about to say something when a fat young man pushed Bran Stark’s chair through the doors. Everyone looked at them when the Stark boy spoke the words that changed everything.

“The wall has fallen. They are coming.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

Jaime still couldn’t process everything Bran Stark told them. The Wall was down, the dead had passed. With a bloody wight dragon. There was no hope now. He couldn’t see how they could win this war. He looked at the others. Everyone seemed just as hopeless. They stood there, and none could speak. He was actually the first to break the silence.

“How long? How long till they come here?”

“A fortnight probably. Three weeks at most.” Bran said.

“Then we should start planning. Now.”

Jon Snow met his eyes and just nodded. That was when Bran Stark spoke again.

“Samwell Tarly and I need to speak to Jon first, in private. Leave us.”

“We will gather again at midday. We should discuss our options then.”

Everyone headed to the door. Jaime looked at Brienne. He needed to talk to her, and he knew she understood that when she met his eyes. They left the Hall and he followed her.

“Why are you following the lady, you sister-fucker?”

It was that wildling again. Jaime could see he was angry.

“I don’t think it’s any of your concern. And you will address me as ser Jaime.”

The gingerhead stood right in front of him, challenging him.

“If you are disturbing Brienne, it is my concern.”

Suddenly, Jaime felt his blood rush to his head. Anger filled him. Who did that wilding think he was? And why did he think Brienne was his concern?

“ _Lady_ Brienne. And she is capable of taking care of herself. She doesn’t need a savage to look after her. And if she is ever in need of help, I will gladly be there.”

“Who are you calling a savage, cunt? Why don’t you go fuck your sister and leave the real women to the real men?”

Jaime stepped closer. He was about to punch the man when Brienne’s voice stopped them.

“Stop it, now! Both of you.”

They both turned to her. She looked like she was about to explode.

“First of all, I am capable of taking care of myself just fine. I don’t need anyone to look after me. I can beat both of you. Second, I am a grown woman, who doesn’t need anyone to tell her what to do or to speak on my behalf. So I will appreciate it if you stop this nonsense now and never repeat it.”

She turned to the wildling.

“Tormund, I am glad you are safe. Now, please leave us.”

“M’lady, I…”

“Goodbye, Tormund.”

And he left, but not before shooting one last hateful glance at Jaime. Then Brienne stood in front of him.

“And you. What was that pissing contest about?”

“He was overstepping.” – Jaime hissed.

“He’s a wildling. They don’t go by our standards. And you were both overstepping.”

It was obvious that this Tormund was in love with Brienne. But why did it bother Jaime so much?

“Why are you defending him? Are you with him?”

Brienne was obviously taken aback by the question. She steadied her face and quietly spoke.

“If I were, it would have not been your concern.”

“You deserve better.”

It seemed she had not expected him to say that. Jaime himself was surprised by his reaction.

“It is not for you to decide, _Ser_ Jaime. And if you would please, remember, we have much more important matters to talk about.”

And then he remembered everything. For a while, he had forgotten about the danger coming their way. They walked to her room in silence. They went it and she went by the window.

“What do you think we should do?” she asked.

He sighed.

“I don’t know. Before, I thought we had a chance. But an undead dragon, breathing blue fire. That changes everything. We have no idea if the other dragons’ fire can harm it. So that leaves only dragonglass.”

Brienne looked at the falling snow. He could tell she was just as desperate.

“We are all going to die, aren’t we?”

“Probably.”

“Does this change your decision?”

“Is that what you think of me?”

The thought that she could see him as a coward, it stung more than he would’ve liked to admit.

Brienne turned to face him. With a small smile, she replied:

“No. I never have. You have never been a coward. And you know what the right thing to do is. And even if it endangers you, you do it.”

Jaime chuckled.

“You make me out to be some sort of hero.”

“I am not saying you are a hero. I am saying that you are an honorable and brave man. A man who would do whatever he could to keep his oath to Catelyn Stark, even if it means risking his head. A man who would jump unarmed and one-handed in front of a bear to protect someone.”

He looked into her eyes. Those astonishing sapphire eyes. As deep as the Narrow Sea. Did she really think he would’ve done it had it not been her in that pit with the bear?

“I wouldn’t have done it for everyone, Brienne. I did it for you and I’d do it again.”

She took a deep breath. He could see his words meant a lot to her.

“Jaime, I…”

“He is in love with you, you know that, right?”

While they were walking to her room, Jaime’s thought had taken him to the wildling. That man had obviously seen Brienne, really seen her, and appreciated her right away. He hadn’t found her ugly or repulsing or intimidating. Instead, in his eyes, Jaime saw only admiration and adoration. As much as he hated to admit it, it was much more than anyone in her life, himself included, had done.

“He is not, it’s just an infatuation.”

Jaime averted his eyes so that now he was looking through the window.

“It’s not. I saw the way he looked at you. That wildling is in love with you. And if you feel the same way about him…”

“I don’t.”

He then turned to look at her again. Was she trembling, or was he imagining it?

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I am just saying that, if you do feel the same way, you should act on it. In less than a month, we might all be dead. Don’t deny yourself whatever happiness you can get. I may not approve of him, he is nowhere near good enough for you. But you, more than anyone, deserve to be happy, appreciated. Loved. If he would make you happy, go to him.”

Saying that was harder than it should have been. It was all true, he really wished with whole his heart to see Brienne happy. But the thought of her with that man bothered him, much more than it should have.

She had no idea what to say, how to react. He could see she was struggling to find a way to explain what she felt, what she thought. They were staring at each other’s eyes. Jaime felt like he was drowning in her blue irises. Brienne was just about to speak when someone knocked at the door.

‘Milady, the lads are waiting for the training session.” Her squire said through the door.

Podrick shook them of their trance. Brienne told him to wait for her, gave Jaime one last look and left.

* * *

 

He had about an hour before the gathering in the Great Hall. He sat on his bed. Jaime couldn’t believe what he felt. Jealousy.

He recognized the feeling very well. He had felt it every time he stood outside Cersei’s chambers when Robert Baratheon would bed her in his drunken state. He knew the rush of blood to the head, the pounding of his heart against his chest, the anger making his fingers shake. Oh, he knew that feeling too well.

Jaime was jealous of that wildling, whatever his name was. He was jealous because of Brienne.

He knew he felt something for her. He knew it ever since he went back for her and saw her in that pit with the bear. When he jumped, his only thought was that he couldn’t let her die, no matter what. After they left, he realized she meant something to him. And then in King’s Landing, when he sent her to look for Sansa Stark, it was hard to watch her leave. And he missed her. When she came to see him in the tent before the fight with the Blackfish, he felt so glad to see her. She had offered him to take back Oathkeeper then. But he could never accept it. Because it was hers, and because in some way, he felt that if she had this sword, a part of him was with her, protecting her. And then the thought of having to fight against her... Somehow he knew he could never do that.

He knew he felt something for Brienne. But he never thought they were this kind of feelings.

“Bloody fool!” he muttered to himself.

Jaime knew it couldn’t happen. She didn’t feel that way about him. And even if she did, Brienne would never act on it. And he wasn’t good enough for her. He didn’t deserve her. Though he doubted anyone did.

He tried to think about Cersei, to explore and compare how he felt for both of them. He hadn’t been in love with Cersei for a long time. That he had known since that time he took her beside Joffrey’s body. Jaime had been so desperate to connect with her, to feel that same passion, that familiar tingling in his heart. Some would say he forced himself on her. But he knew her. Had she really not wanted him, she would’ve stopped him. He knew her body, inside and out. He knew she wanted him in that moment, even if she hated herself for wanting him while they were next to their dead firstborn. He took her, hoping he would feel the spark again. But he didn’t feel anything. He felt empty. He knew then he was not in love with her anymore. Jaime stayed with her anyway, because she was all he had, all he had ever known. But ever since he came back, nothing was the same. He knew that a long time ago. But once upon a time, he had loved her fiercely.

Remembering everything, he realized that Cersei, loving Cersei, brought out the worst part of himself. Lust, arrogance, vengeance, selfishness. He had loved her his whole life, Gods, he had loved her so much. And he had thought that was what love was supposed to be.

But it was not.

He loved Brienne, he understood that now. He realized it the moment he pictured her and that wildling. He felt anger, jealousy, pain, picturing them together. But when he realized that Tormund, or whatever his name was, had appreciated Brienne right away, had fallen for her for who she is – inside and out, Jaime knew that fucker was good for her. And even if it hurt him, Jaime wanted her to be happy.

That was what love should be. Unconditional, selfless. Putting one’s happiness before your own. Wanting the best for them even if it hurts you. Changing you for the better, not for the worse.

Jaime finally knew what pure, real love was. Brienne has taught him that.


	6. Chapter 6

The meeting was long and tiring. Jon Snow’s head was obviously somewhere else. They made some sort of strategy, but no one knew how they would defeat the wight dragon. The talk about its destruction had upset Daenerys. Which made the talk even less productive. At one point she left and Jon Snow went after her. Jaime took this as his queue that he could leave too and so he did. He rushed to his chambers and thought.

He could do it. At least he could try. After all, he was the least valuable of them all. It wouldn’t matter much if he died. And if he were to succeed, at least he would die doing something that could possibly redeem him at least a little bit. He smiled to himself. Then he heard a knock on the door.

“Jaime, it’s me.”

He opened the door. There she stood. Jaime invited Brienne to come in. When he turned around after closing the door, he saw her looking at him intensely.

“What are you planning?”

He sighed. He suspected she might have seen through him. Somehow she had the ability to understand him better than anyone. Still, he had no intention of telling her his plan.

“To kill as many of these dead creatures as I can.”

She shook her head and stepped closer to him.

“It’s not just that. I know you.”

He sighed and closed his eyes.

“Brienne…”

“Why did you charge at Daenerys and her dragon?”

He should’ve known she would bug him about this. So he told her what he told Bronn.

“I thought if I killed her, the war would end then and there and thousands of lives would be spared.”

“And did you think you would’ve lived to see it? There was a bloody dragon between you and her.”

Jaime refused to look her in the eyes. Instead, he stared at his stump.

“What are you implying?”

“I know how you were after you lost your hand. I remember how you tried to starve yourself to death. If you wanted to die after losing a hand, what about after losing your father, practically your brother too, and your children?”

He closed his eyes. Why? Why did she have to do it now?

“Brienne…”

“Look at me!” she yelled.

Jaime lifted his eyes to meet hers. He was angrier than he had ever seen her.

“Tell me the truth. You wanted to die, didn’t you?”

He wouldn’t lie to her. He couldn’t. So he took a deep breath and told her the truth.

“What was there to live for? I thought that at least this way, my death could do some good, it could save so many lives.”

Brienne looked at him. She was trembling. Her eyes were filled with so many emotions Jaime couldn’t quite name them. Before he could see it coming, she slapped him. Hard. He looked at her, his cheek burning from her slap.

“You are an idiot, Jaime Lannister. An absolute fool.”

She turned to leave, but he grabbed her wrist and she faced him again.

“Brienne, don’t be mad.”

Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes were watery as she yelled at him.

“How can I not be? You are suicidal. You don’t appreciate your life. You don’t appreciate the fact that there are people who would mourn you. And I am sure that now, your planning something similar. It is not heroic, Jaime. It is bloody stupid!”

After that, Brienne left and slammed the door, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

* * *

 Hours turned to days and before they knew it, one week had passed. Jaime hadn’t told anyone about his plan. He knew better. He kept it to himself.

Everyone was preparing for the fight. He helped Brienne with the training of those eligible to fight. But she wasn’t speaking to him. She avoided him at any cost. She pretended he didn’t exist unless she had to address him when they were training the lads. And that hurt him more than he could bear.

Realizing his feelings for her, understanding them, accepting them, it changed everything for him. He longed for her more than ever. And this distance, her cold attitude was killing him. He tried to talk to her many times, but she never let him.

It was one of the numerous training sessions. He was sparring with one of the Dothraki, while Brienne was training a boy no older than four and ten. Beside her, Bronn was working with a clumsy young lad. He was consumed with his fight with the Dothraki soldier when he heard Brienne hiss. He turned to her immediately. She was bleeding. All other thought left his mind, as he rushed to her side.

“Brienne! What happened?”

“The boy Bronn trained with. We were standing too close. The sword flew from his hand and nicked my neck. It’s nothing.”

Jaime could see where the sword had touched her. It was right next to the scar the bear had left her with.

“It’s not. Let’s go, I will clean it.”

She kept averting his gaze.

“No, I will do it myself.”

At that moment, Jaime grabbed her chin gently and turned her to face him. His eyes met hers.

“Stop being so damn stubborn! Shut up and let’s go.”

She stared at him for a while, and then she nodded. Jaime helped her to get up and they headed to her room. They walked in silence till they reached her door and got in. He lit the fire and closed the window. Brienne stood next to her bed, her back to him. He grabbed some water and a clean cloth.

“Remove your armor.”

Jaime turned away to give her some privacy, even though he longed to look at her. But he knew she was nervous and respected it. They had seen each other naked years ago, but it was different back then. He could hear the sound of her armor touching the floor. He turned to her. She was now sat on her bed, in her undergarments. She was staring at her hands in her lap. Jaime stepped closer and stood in front of her. He took a closer look at the wound. It was small and superficial, and it had stopped bleeding already. The drained blood contrasted with her white skin and left a trace that led to the scar from the bear’s claws. Seeing those wounds, the old and the new one, reminded him she was vulnerable. Jaime wanted nothing more than to protect her, to never let her be hurt again.

He touched the wound with the wet cloth. Brienne didn’t even flinch.

“Does it hurt?”

“I’ve had much worse.”

She kept looking away. She was shy and nervous, he knew it. She felt ugly and weak. God, how he wished he could make her realize she was wrong. He gently cleaned the wound and looked at her.

“When I heard and saw you bleeding, I… I was terrified.”

“It’s just a scratch.” She said quietly.

“But next time it can be more. I don’t want to see you get hurt. I can’t…”

His voice was soft and trembling, his hand was slightly shaking. She finally turned to face him. Her sapphire eyes met his green once and he felt like she saw right through him, like her eyes pierced him.

“And how do you think I felt when I realized you were basically trying to get yourself killed? Knowing you are planning something similar even now?”

She got up and rushed to the other side of the room.

“Brienne…” he said, going after her.

“Don’t! Leave!”

But he couldn’t.

Instead, Jaime gently grabbed her shoulder and turned her to face him.

“I can’t. I could never leave you.”

She was looking at him, her eyes were full of tears.

“Why would you say that?”

“Because I love you.”

They were both shaking. Jaime hadn’t planned on telling her how he felt, but being so close to her, knowing soon they could both be dead, he couldn’t die before telling her the truth.

Brienne shook her head and tried to pull away from him.

“Don’t mock me! You could never love me.”

He knew why she couldn’t believe him. All those that had mocked her, called her names, himself included, they made her think no man could fall for her. All of them, they had made her unable to really see herself.

Jaime put his hand on her cheek and caressed her. Brienne looked at him, her eyes filled with tears. He gently smiled.

“But I do. I’ve loved you for so long. I was just stupid enough not to realize it.”

She closed her eyes and put her hand over his on her cheek and whispered.

“Jaime, don’t… Please, don’t do this to me. Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

He had to make her believe him. He had to make her understand why he loved her.

“Brienne, I know what you think of yourself, thanks to all those who offended you and mocked you, myself included. I will regret the way I treated you till my last breath. I know you think no man can love you. But you are so wrong. I… Once I told you that we don’t choose who we love. And that is the truth. But even if I could choose, I’d still choose to love you.”

They looked at each other for a long moment. And then she leaned in and kissed him.

Kissing Brienne was nothing like kissing Cersei. His sister’s kisses had been demanding, claiming, they had screamed ‘I want’. Brienne’s kiss was tender, full of love and devotion. It whispered ‘I’m yours’.

When they pulled back and he looked into her beautiful sapphire eyes, Jaime knew. He just knew that he had always been meant to meet her, love her.

‘I love you, too. I always have.’ Brienne tenderly whispered.

A feeling filled his whole being. Something he realized he had never felt before. Happiness.

Jaime leaned in and kissed her again. Her lips were sweet and warm. His hand went from her check to her neck, then gently brushed the scar on her shoulder. Brienne’s hand found its way through his hair and pulled him even closer. When they pulled away to catch a breath, she smiled. A real smile, happy smile. She had never been so beautiful.

Brienne took a step back and stood in front of him, staring in his eyes. Then she pulled her undershirt over her head and took of her breaches. Jaime stared at her naked form. Her white skin, her lean legs, her flat stomach, her tender breasts. He wanted her. Gods, he wanted her. But he couldn’t just take her.

“Brienne, you don’t have to. I can wait. I love you.”

She stepped forward and stood just a breath away from him.

“I’ve waited long enough. I’ve loved you for years but never hoped of you ever looking at me that way. We may die any day now. I won’t waste another moment.”

And then she kissed him again. And Jaime could not fight his love and his desire for her any longer. He kissed her back passionately. He caressed every inch of her body that he could. Now he missed his hand more than ever. Slowly, they found themselves on the edge of her bed. Brienne started to remove his armor. Her hands were shaking, and Jaime knew why she was nervous. He grabbed her hands and she looked at his eyes.

‘Don’t. Don’t ever think you are doing something wrong. You are perfect.’

He kissed her again as she continued to undress him. Soon enough, they were both bare in front of each other. Jaime slowly and gently laid her on the bed as he kissed her. His hand went up her leg, her side until he reached her breast and caressed it. She softly moaned against his mouth. He then started kissing her neck, her collarbones. He went down and in a second his lips were on her other breast. He wanted to kiss every inch of her body, to taste and touch all of her. She responded to his every touch, and he knew she wanted him just as much as he wanted her. He kissed her stomach, her tights, he caressed her neck, her breasts. He savored every little touch. His kisses slowly traced back up till he reached her lips again. He pulled away from the kiss to look into her eyes again. Gods, he loved her.

“Are you sure?”

She kissed him softly and then whispered a soft but certain ‘yes’.

When their bodies connected, he felt her flinch as she dig her nails in his shoulders. He hated the thought of her hurting, even in this way. He kissed her, trying to put everything he felt for her in this kiss – love, passion, admiration, protectiveness. He didn’t move until he felt her relax. He looked her in the eyes and whispered

‘I love you.’

She softly smiled and replied.

‘As I love you’

And then she nodded. He started moving slowly. He didn’t want to cause her any more pain. When she started to encourage him and move with him, when he heard a soft moan, Jaime almost lost his mind. Making love to her was unlike anything he had ever experienced. For the first time in his life, he felt whole. And it was the best feeling in the world.

* * *

 After they made love, he embraced her in his arms, and she laid her head on his chest. When Brienne drifted off to sleep, Jaime looked at her for a long time.

Now, he had a reason. Not to fight. But to make it out alive.  


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter I wrote and posted back in 2017.   
> The rest of the fanfic I wrote after season 8 started.

At one point Jaime had fallen to sleep as well. He and Brienne were both woken up by a knock at the door.

‘M’lady, can I come in?’

Podrick knew how to ruin a peaceful moment. Brienne quickly replied that she wasn’t decent, at which Jaime smirked and that earned him a slight shove in the ribs.

‘We are all worried about you. You got injured and then you disappeared for hours. Dinner is less than an hour away.’

Brienne tried to get up and start getting dressed, but Jaime pulled her back to him. If only they could stay in this bed forever.

‘We have to get up’ she mouthed, but he could see she had no desire to meet the outside world either. So he just embraced her tighter.

‘I am alright, Podrick. I just slept it off. I will be on time for dinner. You can go know.’

Podrick muttered something and they could hear his steps going further and further away. Brienne turned to look at him. Her hair was messed up, her cheeks were a bit flushed. Jaime had never seen her looking so free and so young. He starred at her and smiled.

“What is it? I’ve never seen that look on your face,” she asked.

Jaime could see that the slightest trace of disbelief was still there, in her beautiful eyes.

“Happiness. That is what you see. I am happy. You make me happy.”

Brienne smiled. Gods, he loved to see her smile.

“You make me happy too.”

Jaime kissed her again and pulled her closer to him.

“I wish we could just stay here for the rest of time,” he whispered

Brienne lifted her head to look at him

“Will you tell me what you are planning?”

“No, because I know you will try to stop me.”

“Jaime…” she started in a pleading voice.

He cupped her face with his good hand.

“Listen to me. I love you. I was a fool for not realizing it earlier. When I think about all this time that we’ve wasted, I go crazy. I want to be with you. Yes, I have set my mind on something. And I know you are worried I am trying to get myself killed. And perhaps I was. But now, after this? After knowing what it is to love you and to be loved by you, I will do everything in my power to make it out alive. Because I want a future with you.”

 “Jaime, whatever it is, I can help you. We can do it together. Please, don’t be reckless. I can’t bear to lose you.”

Her voice was trembling. He could see she desperately wanted to do anything to keep him from harm. But what he was planning to do was far too dangerous.

“You won’t.”

Jaime hoped he would not break this promise to her.

* * *

They went to dinner and Brienne went to talk to Lady Sansa while Jaime sat at one of the tables. His brother saw him and stood up from his seat beside the Queen and headed in his direction. Tyrion sat beside his brother and took his glass from his hand.

“So I suppose you finally told Lady Brienne how you feel about her. I saw you two coming here together, looking suspiciously happy.”

Jaime chuckled. Had everyone apart from him known of his own feelings?

“Was it that obvious?”

“Yes. I noticed it ever since you came back to King’s Landing. Glad you both finally realized what idiots you have been this whole time.”

“Thank you, I suppose.”

Tyrion took a sip of his glass and looked at him.

“You really love her, don’t you?”

 “I do, little brother.”

Tyrion smiled.

“I like her. She takes out the best parts of you, the ones I’ve always know were in there, even when you were a pain in the arse.”

Jaime laughed. He put his hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“I missed you, Tyrion.”

“I thought you wanted to kill me.”

“I did. But I still missed you.”

Tyrion patted him on the back.

“I missed you too. I am glad you are here. I am glad you finally left her.”

The mention of Cersei stung a little bit. Jaime didn’t want to think of her. Not anymore.

“I should’ve done it a long time ago.”

“Most certainly. But you’ve always been a bit slow.”

* * *

They spent the night together. And the night after that. And the next one. At first, Jaime was worried about the rumors that would inevitably spread. He was worried about her reputation. But Brienne didn’t care. They had wasted so much time and had no idea how much they had left.

“I don’t care if they call me a whore. I’ve spent all my life affected by what people thought and said about me. I won’t do it anymore.”

If it was possible, he loved her even more for that.

And people had indeed begun whispering. Gossip always spread faster than a disease. It didn’t bother them, though. They were happy.

One morning though, when Brienne and Jaime were training the children, Jaime felt someone grab his shoulder and as he turned around, Tormund had hit him as hard as he could and he lost his balance. He was back on his feet in no time though. The wildling looked mad with rage.

“You don’t want to go there,” Jaime told him.

“Oh, but I do, you fucking cunt.”

He tried to hit Jaime again, but he was faster and avoided Tormund’s fist. He was about to hit the wildling back when Brienne came between them.

“Stop it!”

Jaime was angry about her intervention. He wanted to show that wildling that Brienne was his and his alone.

“M’lady, let us settle this like men.” the ginger hissed, looking at Jaime with pure hatred.

“I won’t. I don’t want either of one to get hurt when the hardest battle the world has ever faced is days away.”

She was right of course. But Jaime still had his pride. He didn’t want her to fight his battles.

“Brienne, I can handle this by myself.”

She looked at him and said softly:

“I know you can. But I don’t want you to.”

She then turned to Tormund.

“Tormund, I am sorry if I have misled you. But I do not return your affections.”

The wildling looked at her, Jaime could see he was saddened.

“M’lady, this sister-fucking cunt is no good for you.”

“That is for me to decide. And if you care for me, as you claim, you will step aside. I am sorry, Tormund. I am honored by your affections. But I won’t ever be able to return them.”

Jaime knew Brienne hated the fact that she was hurting Tormund, she was just that good.

“‘Cause you love him.”

She turned to look at Jaime, and then back to Tormund.

“I do.”

The wildling sighed. He had accepted it, it seemed. Jaime didn’t want to admit it, but he had grown to respect him. Tormund then looked at Jaime.

“Hurt her, and I will hang you on your own guts.”

And then he left. The people who were watching started to whisper as Brienne turned to face him.

Jaime sighed.

“You didn’t have to do that. I could handle it on my own.”

“I know you can. Even now, you are one of the best fighters I’ve seen. But wasting efforts and getting hurt in a fight over this is stupid.”

“Fighting for you could never be stupid. I’d fight the Mountain and the Night King at once, for you.”

“I know. And I love you for that. But it is still stupid.”

* * *

If anyone hadn’t known about them before that incident, they sure knew now. People mocked them, but Jaime didn’t care. He spent every night with the woman he loved in his arms. He held her, he kissed her, and he made love to her. She was his and he was hers and that was all that mattered.

Then one day, Jon Snow summoned them in the Great Hall. They all gathered and then Bran Stark told them that the army of the dead was less than two days away. Brienne grabbed his hand and held as tight as she could. She was afraid.

When they went to her room, as soon as he closed the door, she kissed him. Fiercely, passionately, desperately. He returned her kiss just as eagerly. When they pulled away for air, he looked at her. He wanted to assure her everything would be alright, that they would all survive. But he could not. The only thing he could assure her of was his love.

“Marry me.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first chapter I wrote after I went back to this fic. I wrote it around 2 weeks ago.

Brienne stared at him, obviously shocked by his words.

“What did you say?”

“I asked you to marry me.”

“Jaime, the army of the dead is less than two days away, we have to…”

He shook his head and put his hand on her cheek.

“I know. And I wish I could promise you that we would both make it out alive. But I can’t. It terrifies me. For the first time in my life, I really have something to live for. And knowing I could die before sharing my life with you, it’s unbearable. But this is the truth. And if I die, I want to die married to the woman I love. So marry me, Brienne of Tarth. Marry me before the Old Gods and the New. Be mine and let me be yours in the eyes of the Gods and the world. Marry me.”

She looked at him – with love, fear, understanding, appreciation.

“Yes”

* * *

Brienne told Lady Sansa of their wedding right away, for they did not want to waste any time. Since both and Jaime and Brienne, both followed the Seven but there was not a sept, nor a septon, only the Godswood of the Old Gods, they decided to have the wedding in front of the Heart tree, but with the words used in weddings in the faith of the Seven.

And just several hours later, Jaime Lannister stood in front of the Heart Tree, his brother ready to officiate the wedding. Sansa Stark, The Dragon Queen, Jon Snow, Davos, and many others were there. But Jaime couldn’t care less. The one thing he cared about was that in just a little bit, he would be able to call Brienne his wife and himself her husband.

And then there she was – walking to him, her eyes lost in his, as his own were in hers. As if they were the only two people in the world. In mere moments, there she was, by his side. The words of Tyrion sounded so distant he barely heard his brother telling him to cloak his bride. Jaime took his cloak off without breaking his eyes away from Brienne. When he put the cloak on her shoulders, he could see the tears of joy in her eyes.

“…One flesh, one heart, one soul – now and forever…”

He smiled at her as he took her hand in his, and she smiled back as Tyrion tied their hands together.

“Let it be known that Jaime Lannister and Brienne of Tarth are one heart, one flesh, one soul. Cursed be they who would seek to tear them asunder.”

And they truly were one. They have been for longer than any of them had wanted to admit. And no one would be able to tear them apart.

“I hereby seal these two souls, binding them as one for eternity.”

Eternity together – this was all Jaime wanted.

“Look upon each other and say the words”

Jaime now had tears in his eyes too.

“Father, Smith, Warrior, Mother, Maiden, Crone, Stranger…”

“I am hers and she is mine”

“I am his and he is mine”

“From this day, until the end of my days”, they said together. Jaime smiled and said:

“With this kiss, I pledge my love”

And then he kissed her. Finally.

* * *

Lady Sansa had arranged for a celebration that night in the Great Hall. To some, it might have seemed strange – a feast in the midst of the hardest and most important war humanity has faced. But Jaime and Brienne understood. It was a chance to remind everyone of the things worth living for – love, family, dreams of the future. And while neither of them liked being the center of attention and both of them preferred to be alone in their chamber, they wanted to do this for the others.

Of course, there were some who still mocked them, who were disgusted with him. Tormund Giantsbane refused to attend, and for that Jaime could not blame him – if he was in his spot, he probably would’ve done the same, at least. But those who meant something to Jaime and Brienne were happy for them. Tyrion had been smiling and laughing all day and all night. Now, he was drunkenly and loudly singing songs of knight and maidens. Pod, who had walked Brienne to the Heart Tree, was smiling like a little boy who got his first real sword. Even Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen seemed to be enjoying themselves. Lady Sansa though, she was the one who had been completely ecstatic ever since Brienne told her they wanted to get married. It seemed to make her forget, at least partially, all the danger that awaited them, and she once again looked like a young girl, not like the weight of the worlds was on her shoulders.

Jaime looked at Brienne. She smiled happily at him, but he caught something in her eyes.

“What is it?”

She sighed.

“Nothing really. Just... My father tried to marry me three times before. But I never wanted to get married. Not since I was 5 or 6 years old. For many reasons. I wanted to be a warrior, a knight. The life of some lord’s lady wife with dresses, sewing and dances, it is not for me. And I thought I’d never find a man who would let me be myself. And of course, I never thought a man could want me, love me. And I refused to marry just for politics. So, I grew to hate the mere idea of marriage. But, here I am now. Married. And happy. Because I didn’t marry just someone. I married you, the man I love. And I know that you love me and that you would never force me to be something other than myself. You accept that I will prefer the armor to the dress, that I will gladly die fighting for what I believe in. I got everything I have ever dreamed of, and more. I still can barely believe it. I am afraid that it is a dream that I am going to wake up from.”

Jaime smiled at her and cupped her face with his hand.

“It is not a dream. It is real. Me and you – it’s the most real thing in the world. And you are right – I would never try to change anything in you – for that I love everything about you. Even when you are too stubborn for your own good, even when you drive me crazy, I would never change you.”

Brienne smiled and kissed him.

“I love you,” she whispered

“As I love you”

* * *

Jaime noticed Sansa Stark alone for once, watching her sister and Clegane bickering again. He used this moment to walk up to her.

“Lady Sansa, can I talk to you for a moment?”

“Of course, Ser Jaime.”

“First, I wanted to thank you for everything – for your help with the wedding, for this feast.”

The young woman smiled.

“It’s nothing. Lady Brienne and you deserve it, and the Seven know that everyone needed something good for a change.”

Jaime smiled back at her. Sansa then looked away from him and took a deep breath.

“How does it feel, ser Jaime? To be in love? To have someone you can call yours?”

“It is the best feeling in the world, lady Sansa. I am not the Lannister who’s been gifted a way with words, that would be Tyrion, so I may not be able to explain it very well. To give your heart to the right person and to have them give their heart to you, to know that you belong, that you will have a home as long as you are with them, even at the end of the world – it is magic.”

Sansa looked at him again and spoke:

“Before everything, I was mesmerized by tales of knights and princes and maidens. I wanted to be that lady or princess of a gallant knight or handsome prince. I thought that was everything. But then… I grew up far too forcefully. The beautiful prince I was supposed to marry killed my father and tormented me any chance he got. I was married twice to men I had no desire to be married to. And while your brother is a good and kind man and he was always respectful, my second husband made me wish I was dead a million times. After everything, I gave up on love. I seized to believe in love. But seeing you two, what you and lady Brienne share. I want that for myself one day.”

Jaime noticed that she looked again at her sister and the Hound. And he could see that there was some history there.

“I am sure you will find it, lady Sansa. And when you do, don’t make our mistake – do not waste any time. For every breath we take might be our last, and every minute spent with those we love is priceless.”

Sansa looked at him and nodded before speaking again.

“You wanted to talk to me about something.”

Jaime took a deep breath. He had no desire to speak about the matter. But he had to. For Brienne.

“Lady Sansa, many of us won’t survive the upcoming battle. And I probably will be one of those who die out there.”

“Ser Jaime, don’t think like that.”

“I am an aging knight without his good sword hand. I know what my chances are.”

Her face fell a little bit.

“If I am to die, I want to ask you to look after Brienne. She won’t admit she needs it, she will try to be strong. She cares about you a lot. Not just because of the oath to your mother, but because of who you are. And she will need you.”

“I care about her too. And I do hope you survive, I pray that we all do. But if something happens to you, I promise you, I will do everything in my power to help lady Brienne.”

The look in her eyes showed him she understood why he asked her what he did, and that she would honor her promise.

“Thank you, lady Sansa.”

* * *

After the feast, Jaime and Brienne went to their chambers. When she closed the door, she stood before him for a while, just looking at him. Then she took a step closer so that she was just a breath away from him. She took his stump in her hand and caressed it gently. Jaime traced her jawline with his fingers and she leaned in his touch. They looked at each other. Jaime felt like he could drown in her eyes, as blue as sapphires. Gods, how did he get so lucky?

“You are my life.” He whispered.

“I love you, more than anything” she replied

He kissed her slowly, yet passionately as they undressed, breaking the kiss just to take off their shirts. When they were both bare, Jaime led her to the bed and gently laid Brienne on her back. He caressed and kissed every inch of her skin, she pulled him as close as she could. They could feel each other’s hearts racing. When their bodies connected, it was like they really were one flesh, one soul.

Forever.

However long that may be. 


	9. Chapter 9

Jaime and Brienne were helping each other in their armor, silently. Gods, couldn’t time have stopped last night, when Brienne had fallen asleep in his arms after they made love? Jaime wished it had stopped. Because now, not a full day after that, they were heading into the hardest and probably deadliest battle the world has ever seen. When they were finished, Brienne pulled him in a tight embrace, and Jaime wrapped his arms around her.

“Please, Jaime, please, whatever you are planning to do, don’t do it. Please…” she pleaded, her voice breaking.

Jaime pulled away from her embrace and cupped her cheek with his hand, then placed a kiss on her forehead, before speaking.

“I will come back to you. I will always come back to you.”

Brienne sighed and pulled his lips to hers. She kissed him with everything she had. And he kissed her back just the same. Then, they headed to the left flank, hand in hand.

‘Please, Gods, do not let anything happen to her.’ He prayed silently.

* * *

When they went outside, Brienne spotted Arya. While everyone saw that the girl was a remarkable warrior, far superior to many of the men who were going to fight, Brienne wished her safe in the crypts. Jaime knew that. So, he understood why Brienne left his side and tried to persuade the girl one more time, not that she would succeed. Jaime saw Tormund standing nearby. He sighed. He had no desire to rub salt in the wildling’s wound, really – he respected the man. But he had to ask this of him. When Tormund saw Jaime walking toward him, he groaned angrily.

“What do you want?”

“Tormund, believe me, I have less desire for this conversation than you do. But what we like and want doesn’t matter. Not when it concerns Brienne’s safety.”

Tormund looked at him angrily, but he was ready to listen to him, that much Jaime could tell.

“Look, I know you hate me, and you have every right to do it. I also know what she means to you. I need to ask you to protect her.”

“I will die protecting her if I have to. Won’t you?”

“Of course I will. I will do everything in my power to protect her. But I might die out there, in fact, I probably will. And if I do, I want you to promise me you will try your best to make sure she survives.”

The wildling took a second, and the nodded.

“I will.”

Jaime nodded at him gratefully. He sighed.

“I have one more thing to ask of you. I have something planned for this fight. It’s dangerous, and when Brienne realizes what I am about to do, she will try to follow me. She can’t, it’s too risky, I would never risk her life after that. So, when the time comes, I want you to stop her from coming after me.”

Tormund looked at Brienne, who was still fighting with Arya.

“Can’t promise you that. She is strong, and she is even more stubborn. But I promise you I will try.”

Jaime knew he was right, he just hoped it would be enough.

“Thank you, Tormund.”

With that, Jaime turned to leave.

“Hey, pretty lordling”

Jaime turned around when Tormund called him.

“Stay alive.”

Jaime smiled weakly.

“You, too.”

Brienne was coming to the front of the flank. Jaime stood by her side and gently brushed her hand with his fingers.

“Arya is a warrior at heart. She wants to fight – for her home, for her family, for all of us. I know you of all people understand her.”

She sighed.

“I know. I still don’t like it though.”

Jaime gently squeezed her hand with his. Just then, they heard the horn. Which meant just one thing – the dead had come.

“Are you ready for this?” she asked him as she drew her sword.

“As ready as you are.”, he responded as he drew his.

* * *

It was far worse than they anticipated. Those things – they were endless, ruthless, they never yielded, never stopped. They kept coming, for every wight he killed, Jaime felt another two came. Daenerys and Jon were doing their best with the dragons, but there only so much they could do if they didn’t want to burn their people too. The Night King was nowhere to be seen. Despair and death surrounded them – and it was beginning to consume him. Jaime looked at Brienne. She fought extraordinary, with such determination in her eyes. She was not losing hope. ‘I have no right to be hopeless then.’ Jaime thought. So he charged at the dead again, taking out as many of them as he could.

And then they heard it.

A dragon’s roar. But not Drogon’s or Rhaegal’s.

That roar sounded like death.

Jaime looked up.

The Night King was preparing to land with the dead dragon. Jon and Rhaegal obviously saw that too and they flew in the same direction.

Now was the time.

Jaime looked at Brienne. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her, how amazing she was and how meeting her was the best thing that had ever happened in his life. But there was no time for that. So he just called out Tormund, and when the wildling saw him, Jaime just nodded, before charging right to where the Night King was.

Brienne saw him and realized what he was about to do. She tried to follow him, but both Tormund and Podrick tried to stop her. She fought them as hard as she could, she screamed his name, begging him to stop this foolishness. But he didn’t stop. The wights attacked them again, almost overrun them. She had to fight them now, they were in her way to Jaime. So she fought harder than she had before, harder than ever. Because she had to stop him.

The two dragons were fighting each other as they were lowering toward the ground. The two dragons were biting each other’s throats when the landed.  Both the Night King and Jon got off the dragons and were walking toward each other. This was the moment. Jaime ran as fast as he could. In seconds, he was right next to the wight dragon. He took out the dragon glass dagger he had. ‘It is happening almost too easily’, he thought He stuck it in the beast’s body right as it hit him hard in the head with its tail. The last thing Jaime saw before everything disappeared was the Night King looking at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I don’t hate the way they handled the battle and Arya killing him, I always planned for the battle for WInterfell to end this way.


	10. Chapter 10

Brienne stood by Jaime’s side as the maester or whatever Sam Tarly was examining him. She was still shaking.

They have won. Jaime killing the dragon distracted the Night King for a moment – the only thing Jon needed to stab him in the chest with his sword. And then it all ended – the Night King and the walkers shattered like glass, the wights dropped lifeless.

But Brienne couldn’t really feel relieved or joyous or victorious. Not when her bloody fool of a husband was still unconscious and showed no signs of waking up.

Sam Tarly finished his exam and sighed.

‘The hit he took – it was severe. We can’t know what damage it caused.’

Trying to steady her voice and herself, Brienne asked what she had no desire to ask, but needed to.

“Will he live?”

Sam sighed.

“I can’t say yet. If he survives the night, then we can hope.”

Brienne kept looking at him. The even rises and falls of his chest, the somewhat paler tone of his skin. But he had promised her.

“He will.”

“I hope so, lady Brienne. Now let me look at your wounds.”

She shook her head.

“No. I am fine. If you can’t do anything more for him, there are others who need your care. Tend to them.”

“Lady Brienne, you are bleeding quite a lot from that wound on your shoulder. I am sure you have other injuries as well. Let me…”

She finally turned to look at Sam. She had to be clear.

“NO! I will not leave Jaime’s side, nor will I let you treat scratches and bruises when there are soldiers on the brink of death.”

“As you wish, milady.” the young man said as he left the room.

Brienne looked at Jaime again and brought his hand to her lips. He looked so vulnerable and so fragile. She smiled a little. He would never forgive her for thinking of his as fragile. He would groan and tell her he may be old but he could still beat her in a fight and he survived thousands of dead creatures coming at him. He would just not shut about it until she silenced him with a kiss. Her eyes filled with tears.

“You have to wake up. You just have to.”

* * *

A little while later, Brienne didn’t know how long exactly, someone carefully opened the door. She didn’t turn to see who, she was focused only on Jaime. In a moment, she saw Jon Snow standing on the other side of the bed.

“Has he awoken even for a little while?”

“No.”

Jon took a deep breath. He was young, but right now, he looked so much older, like he had lived a thousand lives. And he probably felt that way. ‘Don’t we all?’ Brienne asked herself.

“What he did… If it wasn’t for him, I am not sure if we would’ve survived.”

Brienne knew that. She knew she was supposed to be proud of him. But she couldn’t help but wish she hadn’t done it.

“You know, I was harsh to him when he arrived, I did not trust him. But as I watched him those few weeks, I understood I misjudged him. And now, we owe ser Jaime everything.”

Brienne finally met Jon Snow’s eyes. She could see he was beating himself up for his initial mistrust.

“He has always been a man of honor and courage. He just didn’t believe it. If you knew half of what I know of him, you would’ve trusted him right away. But I know what his family did to you, what he did to Bran, I know why you didn’t trust him.”

He just nodded at her.

“I truly, sincerely hope he will wake up so that I can thank him myself.”

She gave him a weak smile and turned her eyes back to Jaime.

“Have you seen Sam about your injuries?  Have you had food and water, lady Brienne?”

“No, I am not leaving him.”

The way she said the words seemed to have been quite clear, as Jon Snow turned around and left them alone again.

* * *

In a little while though, lady Sansa came in.

“Lady Brienne, please, go to Sam, you need to take care of these wounds, to freshen up, eat and drink. You fought a hard battle.”

She shook her head. Didn’t they understand that she could not go?!

“No, milady. I won’t leave him.”

Sansa put her hand on Brienne’s shoulder and spoke gently, yet firmly at the same time.

“Lady Brienne, Ser Jaime came to me at your wedding and asked me to look after you if something happened to him, and I promised him I would. I will honor my word. You need to take care of yourself, for him. Ser Jaime loves you. And when he wakes up, he will hate himself if something happened to you because you refused to leave his side. So, if you don’t want to do it for yourself, do it for him.”

Brienne felt on the brink of tears again.

“But what if he something happens and I am not here?”

“If anything changes, I promise you will know right away. I will stay with ser Jaime, Lord Tyrion is on his way too.”

She was scared to leave him again. She never wanted to leave him again.

But she knew she had to do it.

Because that’s what Jaime wanted.

Slowly, Brienne nodded. Lady Sansa gave her a comforting smile.

“Go, I have ordered the maids to draw you a bath in my chamber and bring in some of your clothes there. I will not leave his side.”

As hard as it was, Brienne kissed Jaime’s hand and then let go of it.

After she washed all the blood, sweat and mud off her and got dressed, she went as quickly as she could to Sam Tarly. The quicker all of this was over, the quicker she would be able to go back to Jaime. The boy examined her, cleaned and patched her wounds.

“This will require a daily change of dressing so it doesn’t fester. I will give you some ointment for your bruises, but otherwise, you are fine. But you need rest.”

As if she would be able to.

“I will rest when I know my husband is going to live.”

Sam sighed.

“Lady Brienne, I want to be honest with you. I think ser Jaime will survive – his wounds are basically scratches, his breathing is normal, so far he has no fever. But head injuries are… unpredictable. He may live, but he might not wake up again.”

The words shook her to the core. How could he have been so stupid? How did she let him do this? And now… But Brienne refused to give up on him. She would never give up on him.

“He will. I know him. He will come back to me, he promised me he would.”

* * *

The next ten days were spent recovering from the battle. They had retrieved all the bodies and burned them, they injured were recovering, repairs were beginning around Winterfell. And preparations were made for the war that was to come. Because Cersei Lannister could attack them any day now.

And Jaime was still unconscious.

All this time, Brienne had barely left his side. Tyrion had come several times a day every day, Sansa, Jon, even Daenerys had come. But Brienne almost never left – only when she bathed and when Sam Tarly was changing the dressing on her wound, which proved harder to heal than they thought at first (not that she cared for a pesky wound). She ate right next to him, she slept right next to him. Everyone was trying to convince her to take a walk, to sleep more, to eat more. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t bear the thought of leaving him alone.

That day, she went to Sam to look at her wound again. As usually, Brienne barely spoke.

“The wound is finally closing. No fever, right?”

“No.”

“That is good. But, lady Brienne, you need to take better care of yourself. You need more sleep and more food. Especially now.”

Brienne turned to him suddenly. Sam smiled and nodded, then turned around. She got up and left, her thoughts running through her mind faster than a speeding horse.

Brienne went back to their chamber. Tyrion was still there. After some small talk, he left them alone. Brienne laid next to Jaime carefully, kissed his cheek and put her arm over his heart as she kindly spoke to him:

“Please, Jaime, wake up. You need to wake up because now, you have more to live for.”


	11. Chapter 11

Brienne was still sleeping besides Jaime when she felt him stir. She awoke fully in less than a second. There he was, barely moving, a soft indistinctive mumble on his lips. Brienne felt her heart skip a beat. She yelled at the guards outside to fetch Sam Tarly, as she held to Jaime’s hand tightly. And then it happened.

He opened his eyes.

Those green eyes she had missed so much were now looking at her. She felt the tears of joy running down her cheeks. Jaime smiled slightly and squeezed her hand.

“Brienne” he softly said.

She caressed his face carefully, afraid of hurting him with her touch.

“Jaime, I’m here. How are you feeling?”

“A bit light headed. Are you alright? What happened? The Night King…”

Jaime tried to sit up, suddenly more alert, but Brienne gently pushed him back on the bed.

“Don’t try to get up, not before the maester says you should.”

Just then Sam burst into the chamber and hurried to Jaime’s side.

“When did he wake up?”

Brienne got off the bed to let the man examine Jaime.

“A few minutes ago, I called for you immediately.”

“Ser Jaime, how do you feel?”

Jaimes sighed.

“Drowsy, I would say.”

“It’s expected. You’ve been unconscious for almost a fortnight.”

Jaime’s jaw dropped and his eyes widened.

“A fortnight?!”

Sam nodded as he continued to examine him.

“You took a severe blow to the head. The rest of your injuries were just scratches. But we were concerned when you didn’t wake for so long. Do you feel any pain? Any trouble with your sight?”

“No.”

“Any nausea, wooziness?”

Brienne could see Jaime was getting frustrated.

“I feel fine, I am just thirsty.”

Sam smiled.

“It seems everything is good. You will have to not exert yourself much until you build your strength up. But otherwise, you are healthy.”

Brienne released a breath she hadn’t even realized she had been holding. She didn’t let herself believe everything was alright until she heard Sam say it.

“Thank you, Lord Tarly.”

“Please, just call me Sam. I am glad to see you well. I will leave you two alone now. The servants will bring you food and water.”

With these words, Sam left the chamber and Brienne and Jaime found themselves alone.

Brienne looked at him. She wanted to yell at him, smack him for being so reckless, so bloody stupid and foolishly brave. But the only thing she could do was to run into Jaime’s arms and kiss him as if their lives depended on it. And he kissed her back just as passionately, his hand in her hair, pulling her as close to him as he could. When they broke apart, she put her head in the crook of his neck and they held onto each other. Silent tears of relief and happiness ran down her cheeks. Jaime stroked her hair gently and kept saying ‘It’s alright. I am here. I love you’ until he felt her relax.

When they pulled away, Jaime smiles at Brienne, and then noticed the now scarring wound on her shoulder and all the delight he felt of having her in his arms again was replaced by worry.

“Are you alright? Were you hurt?”

Brienne shook her head and gently caressed his stump.

“Nothing serious. This wound is already scarring, the rest is just a few scratches and bruises. I’ve had a lot worse.”

Relief filled his whole body. If something had happened to her… But it hadn’t, Jaime reminded himself. They were both alright. And then he remembered the battle.

“The army of the dead?”

Brienne smiled.

“Gone.”

“For real?”

 “Yes. When you killed the wight dragon, Jon got to the Night King and stabbed him with his sword. They all fell with him.”

Jaime could barely believe it. They had fought Death itself and they had won. He smiled and blessed the Gods. And then he saw that Brienne did not look half as happy as him. She looked angry.

 “What were you thinking? You could have easily died, Jaime.”

Jaime sighed.

“We all could have, Brienne. We had to stop them.”

“We did, but you didn’t have to try to slay a bloody wight dragon by yourself.”

He knew how she felt. If she had done it, he would’ve gone mad with worry, anger, worry. He wished he could have spared her all this turmoil, but he that was all in the past now. And he had survived. They were together. And Jaime had to make her see that. He cupped her face, kissed her forehead and smiled softly.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s over, Brienne. I am fine. We both are. And we are together. I told you I was going to come back to you, and I did. I could never leave you.”

Brienne fell silent for a second. Then she looked him in the eyes and softly smiled.

“Us. You couldn’t leave us.”

At first, Jaime didn’t understand what she meant. Then Brienne took his hand and put it on her lower abdomen, her hand gently resting over his. Jaime looked at their hands and trembled. Could it really be? He looked her in the eyes again.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded smiling

“I am.”

Jaime felt happiness and joy building inside him, overwhelm him. She was carrying their child, part of him and her. A child he could call his, a child her could be a real father to. Their child. He let out a small laugh, before kissing Brienne with all of his love and pulling her as close to him as he could.

 “If it is possible, I love you even more than I already did,” he said as he held her tightly.

“I love you, too.”

* * *

They took a short walk that day in the yard, as Brienne filled him in on what had happened while he was unconscious. They talked about the people who had died. Jaime was really saddened to hear that Tormund had died mere seconds before the dead were defeated. He respected him and was forever indebted to the man who had protected Brienne, apparently at the cost of his own life. Jaime wished he could have thanked him. The news of Bronn’s death grieved him too. For all his vulgarity and claims he only cared about castles, money, and women, Bronn had been a good, brave man and a friend. When Brienne told him that Podrick Payne had died the day after the battle from his injuries, Jaime saw how much this broke her, all the pain and guilt she felt.

“There is nothing you could’ve done, Brienne” he tried to console her, despite knowing it was a futile effort.

Brienne had such a high sense of responsibility, and the guilt she felt would never completely disappear, he knew. Just like her regrets for not being able to save Renly or Catelyn Stark, despite the fact that she couldn’t have done anything, still haunted her. Jaime wished he could take all of this away from her, to spare her this pain. But he knew Brienne well enough – the only thing he could do was to be by her side and let her lean on him when she needed to. So, Jaime held her hand tightly and kissed her hair with all the love and reassurance he could put in this small gesture.


	12. Chapter 12

That night, Jon and Daenerys summoned them into the council room. As Jaime and Brienne entered, he saw all eyes turning to look at him. He was used to the staring by now. Ever since he killed the Mad King, whenever he entered a room, he could feel everyone’s eyes on him, judging, disgusted, untrusting. He looked around. Jon Snow, Daenerys Targaryen, his brother, Arya, Sansa, and Bran Stark, Sam Tarly, the northern lords that had survived, they were all there. Now, he once again felt their eyes on him. But this time, for the first time in so long, he didn’t feel hatred or mistrust. No, Jaime felt gratitude and respect. And it was so foreign that it made him feel uneasy. Brienne gently squeezed his hand and gave him a reassuring smile. Then, Jon Snow sat up.

“Ser Jaime. When you came here, I had my doubts about you. I didn’t trust your intentions, I didn’t trust your honor, I didn’t trust your character, I didn’t trust your capability as a fighter. But I was proved wrong on every account. What you did in that battle – it was the bravest thing I have witnessed in my life. Had it not been for you risking your life and killing Viserion, I doubt any of us would have survived. So, and I believe I am speaking for everyone in this room, I want to thank you for your valor, for honoring your word, and saving the living. I am proud to have fought beside you.”

Jaime looked around. Lady Sansa was smiling at him, Jon and the rest looked at him with respect. He turned to Brienne. And she was proud of him. Even if he knew, she wanted to beat him for being so reckless, she was proud of him. And she wanted him to be proud of himself. And knowing that helped him overcome the nervousness he felt.

“Thank you, milord. But I just did what all of us were doing out there – I fought for the living.”

Jon Snow nodded at him and then went to the map that was spread on the table.

“There is a reason we summoned you tonight. We may have won the Great War, but we are facing another war as we speak. As ser Jaime had informed us, Cersei Lannister has the Golden Company now, as well as the Lannister army, Euron Greyjoy’s fleet, and The Reach. She could attack us at any moment. We need to prepare as quickly as possible. Edmure Tully has taken control of the Riverlands after the Frey’s were executed, and we received a raven in which he pledges his allegiance to Queen Daenerys. Yara Greyjoy has reclaimed the Iron Islands, so we have her fleet, though I doubt it will be a match for Euron Greyjoy’s much bigger one. We have the support of the Vale, but most of their army died here. Same goes for the Northern army. The Stormlands are destroyed, Dorne is remaining neutral. We are severely outnumbered. We have Drogon and Rhaegal and we hope they will even the field, but we still need a plan. So, any suggestions?”

Many of the lords were mumbling something. Lord Royce was about to speak up.

“She will not give you an honest fight.”

Everyone turned to Jaime. They were surprised to hear him of all people give advice on how to defeat Cersei.

He knew the reality – the Cersei he had loved was gone if she ever existed. This mad woman she had turned into had to be stopped. And when that happened, she would die. Jaime knew it had to be this way.

She was still his sister. Even if he didn’t love her, even if he resented her, he did not wish her dead. But he knew she would never let go of that throne while she lived. She would rather end her own life while sitting on the damned chair than be removed from it or give it up willingly. And that was the exact reason they needed to stop her.

Jaime sighed.

“Cersei will remain in the Red Keep, be sure of that – she would never expose herself, will never get her hands dirty when others can do her bidding. She will not attack us on just one front. Part of the fleet will undoubtedly go for the Iron Islands. Euron Greyjoy is probably sailing there as we speak. Another part she will leave to guard the Crownlands against attack by sea. She will send part of her forces to take the Riverlands from Edmure Tully. I know he is your kin, but he is a complete and absolute fool. Cersei’s army will take Riverrun from him in a snap of her fingers. And she will leave part of the army in King’s landing.”

Jon Snow had listened to each of his words carefully. He looked down to the map, and then at Jaime as he asked for his advice.

“What do you suggest, Ser Jaime?”

“The Riverlands are the shortest passage between the North and the Crownlands. Send reinforcements to Riverrun immediately. Send the remaining forces of the Vale there and as many men as you can spare. They must expect to be attacked not just from the Crownlands, but from the West and the Reach as well. You can’t use the dragons there, too many innocents will be hurt. Use them on Euron Greyjoy’s fleet instead. After you destroy it, have Yara Greyjoy sail for King’s Landing. When you secure the Riverlands, head to King’s Landing. But you must know that she has wildfire all around the city. And if she won’t hesitate to blow it up if she feels desperate.”

“And how do we prevent that?”

“We stop her before she gets the chance to do it. Take the Red keep from the inside, without sacking the city.”

Everybody was silent. Then Tyrion stood up.

“My brother is right. Cersei will try to attack us from all possible sides. And we need to be prepared for that.”

Everybody seemed to silently agree to the plan. Jaime sighed in relief that the meeting seemed to be over. He had grown rather tired and wished for nothing more than to go now, to take Brienne to their chambers and hold her. But then Jon and Daenerys exchanged a look.

 “There is one more thing I need to tell you.”

Jaime saw Daenerys now seemed more tense – her lips tightly pressed together, her eyes averted, her hands holding the chair too tightly. Jon looked at her, and then at his siblings before turning back to everyone.

“My name is not Jon Snow and Ned Stark was not my real father.”

Jaime and Brienne looked at each other. He could tell she was just as startled by this reveal as he was.

“Rhaegar Targaryen did not kidnap Lyanna Stark. She went with him willingly. He had his marriage to Elia Martell annulled and married Lyanna in secret. After Robert Baratheon killed him at the Trident, Lyanna gave birth to a son in The Tower of Joy and named him Aegon. Right before she died in her birthing bed, she made her brother promise to protect her child. Since Robert Baratheon would’ve killed the child had he known the truth, Ned Stark claimed it to be his bastard and raised him as his own. My real name is Aegon Targaryen, trueborn son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark.”

Jaime could barely process what Jon had said. He was Rhaegar’s son. Suddenly, memories started to float before his eyes.

Rhaegar’s hand on his shoulder as he said ‘I trust you’

The beautiful little Rhaenys pale and with eyes still open.

Baby Aegon’s tiny body and strays of silver hair tainted with blood.

Jaime was shaking without realizing it. Brienne put her hand on his shoulder and brought him back from the horrors he relived.

“You’re the rightful heir to the Iron Throne.” one of the lords said. Jaime saw Daenerys shoot him a cold glance. Then Jon… Aegon spoke again.

“That is true. But I have no desire to rule. I never have. Therefore, Queen Daenerys will rule the Seven Kingdoms. Lady Sansa is the eldest living child of Ned Stark so she will be the Wardeness of the North.”

Before the lords could say anything more, Jon left 

* * *

Jaime and Brienne walked to their chamber silently. When they got inside, Jaime sat on the bed and stared at the fire. Brienne sat next to him.

“Are you alright?”

He didn’t know if he was.

“You know, Aerys was mad and cruel. He was a curse on the realm. If I had to do it again, I would still kill him. But Rhaegar… Rhaegar was good. He was kind, he was brave, he was smart. He never looked down on anyone, despite the fact that he was the Crown Prince.”

Jaime remembered the natural grace with which Rhaegar carried himself. He remembered how he would sneak out disguised with his harp and sing in the streets and then give the money to the poor. He remembered him with standing up to his father and trying to make the old madman see reason.

Brienne smiled.

“You admired him.”

Jaime nodded.

“I did. He had his flaws, we all do. But he was a good man. And he always treated me with respect, despite the constant bickering between our fathers, despite me being but a green boy when I joined the Kingsguard. He would’ve been a good king.”

‘If only he hadn’t died’, Jaime thought.

“I wanted to be with him at the Trident. The Gods know I would’ve died before I let Robert smash his hammer into his chest. But Rhaegar asked me to stay and protect his children. ‘I trust you to keep them safe, Jaime.’ Those were the last words he said to me. And then my father and his puppets kill them brutally.”

Brienne knew how he felt all too well. It’s the same way she felt when Renly died, when lady Catelyn died.

“You couldn’t have saved them, Jaime.”

He shook his head.

“I had to.  It was my duty, and I had promised Rhaegar I would protect them. Another oath I broke.”

“And how could you stop them? What could you, a boy of seven and ten, do against your own father’s army?”

‘I should have died trying then’ Jaime thought. But he couldn’t tell Brienne that.

“You know, when my father proudly presented their bodies to Robert, I felt sick to the core. Rhaenys had been stabbed so many times her little body was all drained of blood. And little Aegon… He was still a baby, suckling on his mother’s breast. And the Mountain crushed his skull so hard that no one could recognize him if it wasn’t for the strays of silver hair, covered in blood. And their mother, Elia. The Mountain raped her with her son’s blood still on his hands before he killed her.”

Brienne took his hand in hers, trying to soothe him, to give him some comfort.

“My father did that, he ordered the Mountain and Lorch to kill Rhaegar’s children. Robert Baratheon smiled over their corpses. Ned Stark called him out on murdering children, and Robert said ‘I don’t see children, only dragon spawn’. And I just stood there.”

He could still see it all.

“I should have killed them – the Mountain, Amory Lorch, Robert, my father. I should have killed them for what they did.”

But he hadn’t. He let Rhaegar’s children die, and he served those who were responsible. But not anymore. He turned to face Brienne and squeezed her hand tightly.

“I failed all those years ago. But Brienne, I can’t fail again. He is Rhaegar’s son. I have to protect him.”

She smiled and let her forehead touch his.

“I know. And that is one of the reasons I love you.”

Jaime sighed and looked Brienne in the eyes. Of course, she would understand. Because she would feel the same way if she was in his place. Brienne was probably the only person in the world who knew what protecting Rhaegar’s son meant to him. None of the others could get it – not even Tyrion.

“Gods, I love you so much,” Jaime said and then he kissed her.

That night, they took their time. Their touches were tender, the kisses were long and gentle. Every move, every caress said what their mouths didn’t need to. Their bodies moved together in perfect synch. They looked in each other’s eyes the whole time. When it was over, Brienne put her head on his shoulder and slowly drifted off to sleep. Jaime looked at her for a long time. He didn’t know what he had done to deserve her. But he was damn grateful he found her. Because she was the most beautiful soul to have lived in the world. She was the purest and most amazing person he had ever met. She saw the good in him when no one else did. She had seen the very worst of him too. And she still loved him – all of him. And that made him want to be a better person. Not to prove himself to her. But to be worthy of that love. Jaime touched her belly carefully not to wake her. And then he vowed again, this time to himself, that he will do everything in his power to be not just a man worthy of Brienne’s love, but a man of which their son or daughter would one day be proud.


	13. Chapter 13

Jaime woke up suddenly, it was still dark outside. The first thing he did was look at Brienne. She looked so young, so fragile when she slept – it always took his breath away. She was this fierce warrior on the battlefield – strong, willful, deadly. And in the same time, when she slept, she was so delicate and vulnerable. That was one of the things that he loved most about her – that she was both a force to be reckoned with and the most gentle creature to have lived in this world. Both parts of Brienne mesmerized him.

Last night, Jaime had been too overwhelmed by everything that he didn’t get a chance to think about the mess they were in. But in the morning, everything came to him at once.

There was no way Brienne could ride to war now, not while pregnant. Jaime hoped she would not fight him on the matter. She had to remain at Winterfell. But that didn’t mean she would be safe.

Jaime knew Cersei. There was no way she didn’t have spies in the North. And by now, she surely knew that he and Brienne were together, probably about their marriage too. That put Brienne in immense danger. Cersei would want her dead, of that much Jaime was sure. And he had to protect her.

He didn’t know who he could trust. He understood only about 50 of his men had survived. But he could not trust them, not while Cersei was still on the Iron Throne. The only people who he could trust when it came to Brienne were Tyrion, the Starks and himself. But the Jon… Aegon and Tyrion were riding south. Lady Sansa needed protection probably as much as Brienne. And while Arya Stark was one of the deadliest assassins he had seen in his life, he still worried.

He had to stay and be with her. One hand or not, when it came to Brienne, Jaime would butcher anyone who tried to even get close to her.

But…

He had to go to King’s Landing.

Jaime knew it. Cersei would not back down, even if she was pressed into a corner. Her obsession with power would not let her surrender. She would rather burn the city to the ground and herself along with it rather than surrender. He had to stop her before she did what Aerys Targaryen failed to do. And he had to save her.

Despite everything, Cersei was still his sister, and he would never wish her dead. And she was carrying his child.

When he left, Jaime had tried to put it all behind him, to start anew. But he couldn’t, even if he did not want to admit it. Because that child was part of him, too. And he had to protect it.

He needed fresh air. He needed to clear his head a little bit so that he could find a solution for the conundrum he was in. Careful not to wake Brienne, Jaime got out of bed, dressed, wrote a note to Brienne that he was going for a short ride and quietly left and headed to the stables.

As he was reading his horse, he heard footsteps approaching. Jaime turned around and saw Jon with direwolf. It was still the crack of dawn, too early for anyone to be awake. But it seemed Jaime was not the only one with a lot on his mind.

‘Ser Jaime’

‘Milord’

‘Mind if I join you for a ride?’

Jaime shook his hand and waited for Jon to ready his horse. When they were both ready, they headed out of Winterfell. At first, they rode in silence. But Jaime had to talk to the young man.

‘Lord Aegon...’

The way Jaime addressed him seemed to have bothered him.

‘I guess it will take some getting used to be called that. All my life, I’ve been Jon Snow, bastard of Ned Stark. And now, I am the son of Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen. Everything I’ve believed my whole life was a lie. Even my name. All my life, I wanted answers, and now that I got them, I wish I could just be Jon, the bastard of Winterfell again.’

Jaime nodded

‘It’s understandable. If you feel more comfortable, I will keep calling you Jon.’

Jon smiled a little bit.

‘Thank you, Ser Jaime. Now, tell me - what troubled you that you left your wife so early in the morning and went for a ride?’

‘I have made a mess and now I can’t see which is the right way to fix it.’

Jon looked at him, and Jaime sighed.

‘Brienne is pregnant.’

The young man smiled.

‘Congratulations. That is wonderful news.’

Jaime smiled too. Despite everything, the mere thought of their child made him happy.

‘Thank you. We are happy, very much so. But I worry. Brienne must stay here, she can’t join a war in her condition. But I am absolutely sure that my sister has spies even here, in the North, though I have no idea who they might be.’

‘You think someone might try to harm her.’

Jaime nodded.

‘I wanted to stay behind with her, protect her.’

‘Ser Jaime, I would understand if you wanted to stay in Winterfell. We all owe you everything’

Honestly, everyone making him out to be some sort of hero made Jaime uneasy, uncomfortable. And especially when Jon was doing it. He didn’t know all the atrocities he had committed, he didn’t know of his failures. If he did, would he still praise him like that? Jaime doubted it.

‘You don’t owe me anything. I will never compensate what my family and I have done to your family, to both your families. And I did what any of us were doing – fighting for the living. And I would stay, but there is a catch.’

Jon looked at him with understanding.

‘Your sister’

‘She is pregnant too, with my child.’

Jaime could sense the news surprised Jon, but there was no judging. And that brought him some sense of relief.

‘And Cersei will never back down. She will never surrender, even if it means she dies, even if it means blowing up King’s Landing with wildfire’

‘Tyrion said as much.’

‘The thing is, she has to be stopped, I know that. And I think if anyone can get through to her, it’s me. And I have to try. For the child, for all the people she will burn with that wildfire.’

They both fell silent for a moment. Then, Jon turned to him.

‘Look, from where I see it, there is no right or wrong choice. It is not black and white. You some have time. Daenerys is flying with Drogon and Rhaegal to meet Euron Greyjoy’s fleet in two days. We are heading sound the next day. Take a little bit of time to think about it, to talk it out with someone who can offer you sound advice, and then make your decision. Whatever it is, I will respect it, and I will make sure Queen Daenerys will too. Anyway, Arya will protect Brienne, and I will leave a few of my trusted men to stay and guard her. Sansa will help too, in any way she can. I will also try and talk to Daenerys about your sister. I hope I will persuade her to spare Cersei’s life. But I can’t promise you I will succeed. Things have been… complicated, lately, since we learned the truth.’

Jaime had suspected for a long time that there was more to the relationship of Jon and Daenerys than they let on. He knew the stolen glances, the body language all too well not to recognize it. And he had also noticed how different, how tense they were around each other last night.

‘You mean because she realized she was sleeping with her nephew, or because you threaten her claim to the Iron Throne?’

Jon was surprised by his question.

‘How did you know?’

‘I am not judging you. At least you didn’t know you are related, which is not something I could say for me and Cersei.’

They both let out small laughs. Then Jon took a deep breath.

‘She doesn’t seem to mind that we are related. She wanted me to keep it a secret. But I could not hide it from Sansa and Arya. And I could not hide it from the men and women who chose me for their king because they thought I was Eddard Stark’s son. But Daenerys is afraid that despite the fact that I don’t want the bloody chair, people will try to put me on it.’

Jaime suspected that much. From what he had observed, the dragon queen had a temper, and she would not take lightly a threat to her claim to the crown.

‘Well, she is right. You’re Rhaegar’s child, so this puts you ahead in line for the throne already. Add the fact that she is a woman and you are a man – I am sure most lords will prefer you on the throne for those reasons alone. But most of all, the people love you – and not just the lords of the North, the common folk too. You are the first man in our history to form a union with the wildlings. The Vale may have joined you for lady Sansa, but they see you as their leader. Northerners, wildlings, knights of the Vale – they are all beside you by choice. They follow you out of respect and trust in you. And they fear her, they don’t trust her. Queen Daenerys may have been a hero in Meereen and Slaver’s Bay, and there people may worship her. But here, in Westeros, people see a foreigner who has come to conquer. They remember her father, especially here in the North after what he did to your grandfather and your uncle. Everyone is wondering if she will turn out just like him.’

Jon sighed.

‘I never wanted all of this, you know. I didn’t ask to be Lord Commander or King in the North. Certainly not the heir to the Iron Throne. Some days, I wish to be back to being no one, invisible, with no expectations upon me.’

Jaime looked at him. Jon was young, but he had faced in his short life more than most face in many decades.

‘Well, it is what it is. We can’t change who we are, we can’t change the past. We can just try to make the best of what we have.’

Jon nodded silently. He then looked at his Jaime.

‘Our lives are pretty fucked up, aren’t they?’

‘That they are.’

With a tired chuckle, both turned their horses back to Winterfell.

* * *

When Jaime returned to their chamber, Brienne was already dressed and awake. He found her sitting by the fire and polishing Oathkeeper. The moment she saw him, she stood up and walked to him. He pulled her in his arms and held her tightly. The feeling of her heartbeat against his chest calmed him, her arms wrapped around him lifted the weight he felt he was carrying on his shoulders. They pulled away when a servant brought them their meal. The sat together and Brienne put her hand on his stump.

‘Hey, are you alright?’

Her beautiful eyes were filled with worry.

‘I am. I just needed to clear my head a little bit’

‘It’s about your sister, isn’t it?’

He looked at her. He should’ve found anger and disappointment in her expression. Instead, he saw understanding and concern.

‘It is.’

‘Jaime, it’s alright, talk to me.’

He shook his head. That was the only thing he didn’t want to talk to Brienne about.

‘I know that talking about her is hurting you, Brienne.’

She gave him a small reassuring smile.

‘It’s not. I know your past and I know you. And I love you, all of you. So, please talk to me.’

He took a deep breath.

‘Do you remember what I told you back when I first came to Winterfell?’

She nodded.

‘She is mad, Brienne. She will never surrender. She will burn the city to the ground before she lets go of the bloody throne. She has to be stopped. I have to stop her because she will blow up King’s landing if she feels trapped. And I have to save her, I have to save them.’

He couldn’t look her in the eyes. Not when he is telling his pregnant wife that he has to go and save another woman who is also carrying his child.

‘Hey, look at me.’

She put her hands on his face and turned him to look at her.

‘It is your child, Jaime. You wouldn’t be the man I love if you didn’t care about your own child. And it is alright that you want to save her, too. She is your blood. I understand, and I don’t blame you.’

How, how in Seven Hells could Brienne be just so good, so pure? How could this beautiful soul be there, with the likes of him? 

‘You deserve so much better, Brienne.’ He said with trembling voice.

She shook her head and took his hand in hers.

‘You can’t see in yourself what I can see. I guess that is what I blame her the most for – making you think you are worthless, evil. But you are not. You have made mistakes, terrible things. But these misdeeds do not define you. You are brave, you are honorable. You love so deeply and you would do anything for the people you love. You are a good man, Jaime.’

And then she kissed him. Gently, chastely. A kiss that was meant not to demand, just to give.

If it was possible, Jaime loved her more and more every day.

He wished he could just take her to their bed, shower her in love and hold her as close to him as possible. But he couldn’t. He had to make sure she was safe.

 ‘Brienne, you have to stay here, you know that.’

She sighed. He knew she didn’t like. She was never one to run from a battle. But she understood that she could not take risks now.

‘I know.’

‘Cersei must know by now about us. She has spies everywhere. And she will try to harm you.’

‘I can protect myself, you know that.’

‘I know. But I have to protect you anyway, both of you.’

Jaime put his hand on her belly and Brienne put her hand over his.

‘I will stay here with you for as long as I can. I won’t march to the Riverlands with the rest. I will head directly for King’s Landing when the time comes and I will meet our forces there.’

Brienne drew a sharp breath. She understood why he was doing it all, but she was still worried about him, that much Jaime knew. He wanted to reassure her it would all be alright, but once again, he couldn’t.

‘For now, the fewer people know about the baby, the better. I told Jon this morning when we rode, and he promised he would leave some of his most trusted men to protect you. We will tell Arya and Sansa – they have to know about your condition, and Arya is one of the few people I would trust to be able to protect you.’

Brienne nodded.

‘And Tyrion?’

‘I will tell him. He is one of the very few people I trust, especially when it comes to you. And especially when he knows you are carrying his niece or nephew, he will try to protect you as much as I will.’

Brienne smiled a little.

‘We will be alright, Jaime. After everything we went through – captivity, severed limbs, bear pits, being on opposite sides in war, fighting the army of the dead, I know we will survive this last challenge.’

 ‘I love you,’ Jaime whispered as he captured her lips with his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say, when I first started writing this fic, I envisioned it as 5-6 chapters long, with Jaime dying in the battle for Winterfell and just then admitting his love for Brienne. But as I wrote, it started living a life of its own, writing went into a completely different direction. And I am glad it did.   
> It keeps happening though. Jon/Jaime bonding was never part of the plan, it wasn't even planned a few chapters ago, but it just felt right.   
> Anyways, this is the last chapter I have written so far. I have part of the last chapter written already, though I don't know how many chapters will be between this one and the last. I have started writing the next chapter, but there are some stuff that I am still not sure how to handle. I want to include some stuff of the cannon, but since the battle plan I came with is quite different from the show's, it is a complication.   
> Also, I am still debating on some things regarding Cersei, and I can't really decide which of the two ways I am torn between is the best way to handle it. I think I will keep writing and see which one comes naturally.   
> I hope I will be able to post the next chapter in 2-3 days, but I must admit 8x04 and 8x05 did a lot to damage my inspiration. I just hurt too much because of what Dumb&Dumber did to Jaime.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to post this before the episode aired. I hoped I'd be able to post it earlier, but I had some stuff to do, so I manage to post it mere minutes before the finale.

They told Sansa, Arya and Tyrion, and as Jaime expected, the Stark girls and his brother tried their best to aid them. Sansa promised to arrange that only trusted people would handle Brienne’s food and that she would have someone guarding her at all times, much to Brienne’s protests. It was Arya Stark who managed to convince her it was indeed needed.

The next day, the army and Jon Snow marched south, and Daenerys with her dragons and her fleet headed to Dragonstone to gather the remaining Dothraki and Unsullied she had left there to guard her ancestral home. It all seemed to be going according to the plan.

Jaime spent every possible minute with Brienne. They talked about their childhoods, they teased each other. They made love every night. He savored every second with her, made sure to worship her like she deserved, to show her just how much he loved her, how happy she made him.

And then the raven came a week later.  

Then Sansa summoned them both. And the news shattered the fragile sense of calmness.

Cersei had outsmarted them. Euron Greyjoy had ambushed the Dragon Queen near Dragonstone, destroyed some of the ships, killed one of the Dragons and captured the queen’s friend and advisor. They were letting the small folk inside the Red Keep as a human shield.

Jaime wanted to scream.  He knew what this meant. All their plans were thrown into the dirt now. The Dragon Queen would go straight for King’s Landing. They would all fall right into Cersei’s trap. The city would burn between the two of them. In that moment, he hated himself, he hated Cersei, he hated their father, he hated the stupid Iron Throne, more than ever.

But he had to do it.

He had to stop Cersei.

He had to stop her to avoid the massacre of King’s Landing. Because she would rather destroy it than admit defeat.

He had to stop her to save his unborn child and his sister. Because she would kill them both with her lust for power.

He had to stop her for the safety of the woman he loved and the child they were expecting. Because as long as Cersei had power, Brienne would never be safe, their child would never be safe. And Jaime could not ever let anything happen to them. No matter what the cost, he had to protect them.

It was time.

‘Lady Sansa, send ravens to my brother and Jon at once, tell them I am heading for King’s Landing right away. Tell them I will do what needs to be done. They will know what I mean.’

She nodded in agreement.

 Jaime looked at Brienne and he took her hand in his as they left. They headed straight to their chamber. They didn’t speak. Both were too shaken, too afraid. Silently, they packed his bags and went to the stables. Brienne helped him ready his horse. When it was all done, Jaime looked at her. Gods, how he wanted to stay with her, to never leave her side. To spare her the worry and the tears. Seeing her so desperate, so afraid, it was far worse than losing his hand, than facing the dead. It was killing him.

Brienne put her hands on the sides of his face and rested her forehead against him. He put his hand on top of her and held it almost too tight, but he just needed to feel her.

She pulled away and looked in his eyes.

‘Jaime…’

‘Brienne, I have to do this, I have to stop this madness once and for all.’

She understood, he knew she did. But he also knew it didn’t make it any easier for her, nor for him.

‘Promise me you will come back, promise me you will get out alive, no matter what’

Jaime wanted to promise her it would all be alright, that he would be back with her before she knew it, that they would die of old age surrounded by great-great-grandchildren in a better world than what the one they were living in.

‘I can’t make you a promise I am not sure I will keep’

He couldn’t. He could never break his word to Brienne of all people. So he couldn’t promise her what she wanted.

‘Jaime…’

‘But I promise you that I will do everything, absolutely everything, to come back to you’

Brienne kissed him with everything she had in her, and Jaime kissed her back just the same – with all his love, passion, devotion, gratitude, admiration, hope.

Then he mounted his horse and rode as fast as he could, because if he waited any longer, he would not have been able to leave.

* * *

Jaime rode faster than ever before, he rode like a madman. He stopped briefly, just enough for his horse not to die from exhaustion. It took him a fortnight to catch up to their army, and he reached them the night before the attack.

All this time, Jaime has had no news of the course of the war. Being in the dark has been one of the most frustrating things in this whole journey, and with all the frustration inside him, that was saying something. He had to know, and he knew just who would tell him everything as it was.

Jaime found his brother alone in his tent. In just two weeks, Tyrion seemed to have aged a decade. He tried to give Jaime a sad smile, but he didn’t manage even that. Were things really so bad?

‘Tell me everything’

Tyrion sighed.

‘Cersei refused to surrender. I tried to talk to her, tried to reason with her. But she didn’t listen. She beheaded Missandei right in front of Daenerys. Our queen, she… I’ve never seen her like this. And then, Varys betrayed her. He tried to convince Jon to claim the Iron Throne, tried to poison her, he sent ravens to all the Seven Kingdoms telling them the truth about Jon. And she burned him alive. And she didn’t seem to even care. She is in a dark place, Jaime, and I fear that darkness.’

‘It is not just darkness, brother, it is madness’ Jaime thought. He really didn’t appreciate the irony. It had started with Mad King Aerys, and now it was obviously Mad Queen Daenerys. And Mad Queen Cersei. And fire.

‘She wants to sack the city and unleash dragon fire upon it, doesn’t she?’

Tyrion nodded.

‘If Cersei doesn’t surrender, I am afraid she will.’

‘Cersei will never surrender.’

They both knew it. She would never give up the crown. Not even for the child. In her mind, she would be doing it also for the child.

‘I convinced Daenerys not to attack if the city surrenders and we hear the bells signaling it.’

Jaime closed his eyes and drew a sharp breath. Somehow, his gut was telling him his brother was wrong again. But they had to try.

‘I will go in the Red Keep, deal with Cersei and ring the bells.’

Tyrion looked at him horrifies and shook his head.

‘Jaime, this is suicide! Cersei might kill you on the spot! Even if she doesn’t, you won’t convince her to surrender, and Daenerys will destroy the Red Keep. And she will charge you with treason. Don’t you see, if you do this, you will die!’

Jaime was angry. Did his brother think that he did not want to live? That he did not want to go back to Brienne and their child? Of course he wanted to live. But he had no choice.

‘Damn it, Tyrion, there are a million people in King’s Landing! What do you want me to do – stand aside and watch as the two of them burn them all? You know I couldn’t do that with the Mad King I was sworn to protect, I sure can’t do it with these two mad women! You want me to sit by and let Cersei and my child die for that damn throne? I hate her, Gods, I really do. And I hate myself for helping her become this monster. But she is our sister, our blood, and she is carrying an innocent child, my child! I won’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t stop this madness, or die trying!’

Tyrion understood, he truly did. His brother put his hand on Jaime’s shoulder, and spoke with shaking voice.

‘Jaime, if it weren’t for you, I would’ve never survived my childhood.’

‘You would have’

‘You were the only one who didn’t treat me like a monster. You were all I had’

Jaime pulled his brother into a hug and held him as tightly as possible. He made no effort to stop the tears. It was probably the last time they saw each other. And he did not want to say goodbye to his little brother. But he had to. Eventually, they let go and Jaime headed out. When he was about to exit the tent, he turned to his brother. One last thing to ask.

 ‘If I don’t make it, take care of Brienne and our child for me. And make sure they both know.’

They had to know. They had to know that he loved them more than anything. That he was doing this for their safety.

‘You know I will.’

With his brother’s reassurance, Jaime got out of the tent. But he had to talk to someone else, too, before going into the Red Keep.

He found Jon alone as well. He looked even more troubled than the last time he saw him. The young man got up when he saw him.

‘Ser Jaime’

‘Lord Jon, when will the Dragon queen arrive?’

He sighed.

‘At first light, that is when we attack.’

Jaime suspected that much. It was not ideal, but still better than her already being there.

‘I am going in there, I will handle my sister and ring those damn bells. You just have to stall Daenerys’

Jon let out a pained sigh.

‘Easier said than done. She’s not in her right mind. She wants revenge. She will never let your sister live now, you know that, right?’

He sounded apologetic. Like it was his fault. Jaime knew he must have felt responsible for Daenerys’s actions. But there was no time to dwell on how one felt.  

They had to save the damn city.

‘She wants fire and blood. And we must let it not come to that. Leave Cersei to me. Focus on Daenerys. I am heading to King’s Landing and the Red Keep right away, but I won’t be able to get to the damn bells right away. Stall, as much as you can. Give me time to signal the surrender of the city. Tell her sweet nonsense, fuck her, chain her, I don’t care. But do not antagonize her. Don’t tell her what I am doing. If she somehow knows, deny ever knowing I was headed into the city. Tell her I betrayed you all.’

Jaime knew this would put him at the top of the Targaryen queen’s list of people to burn. But he had to protect Jon as well. He could see him shaking his head in protest.

‘Ser Jaime, I can’t do that, she will want to burn you alive if I do’

His father’s son through and through.

‘With all due respect, stop being so stupidly honorable. I am just an aging knight with shit for honor, who’s done unfathomable things. Don’t risk your head for me. And do not be mistaken, she will kill you if she feels betrayed or threatened. You are in grave enough danger as it is, being who you are and telling your people the truth. If she suspects you betrayed her, she will burn you alive. And I can’t allow that.’

Jon was about to say something, but Jaime did not let him.

‘I know you care for her. I know you believed in her and still want to believe in her. But I’ve seen this before, up close. And I’ve shoved my sword through his back. And I will again if I have to.’

‘What you speak of is treason. And she is not her father.’

Gods, he still wanted to believe in her. Jaime had to make him see reason.

‘Aerys wasn’t always mad and cruel either. And it is not treason, because I have never pledged myself to the Dragon Queen. My oath is not to her, it is to your father, and to you.’

‘Ser Jaime…’

Jaime put his hand on Jon’s shoulder.

‘Listen to me, we have no time to waste. You have to be careful. Like it or not, you are Rhaegar Targaryen’s son, you are the rightful ruler of the Seven Kingdoms. And even if you weren’t, if you were indeed just Ned Stark’s bastard, you would still be what the realm deserves. Daenerys Stormborn may have once wanted to do good by the people, but now, she is just like her father and Cersei. And she is dangerous. You have to delay her from attacking the city, but you must do it with caution. You must keep her trust.’

In a few moments, Jon nodded. Jaime hoped he had truly gotten it all through his head.

‘Good luck, ser Jaime’

Jaime nodded and left. They would all need all the damn luck in the world.

* * *

 Getting inside the Red Keep was easy enough. After all, Jaime had spent most of his life in the Kingsguard, he knew the place inside out, he knew every secret passage, every tunnel. No surprises on that front.

What did surprise him, as he was heading to the throne room, was Sandor Clegane. He had not expected him there. But he did not need to ask why he had come. He wanted revenge. He wanted closure. He wanted his brother dead.

When the Hound saw him, the only thing he said was ‘You leave him to me’, and Jaime just nodded as they kept walking.

Soon enough, they were in the throne room. As Jaime expected, she was there.

The Mountain on her left, Qyburn on her left, a glass of wine in her hand and a crown on her head, sitting on the throne she gave up everything for.

‘Cersei’

She said nothing as he approached her. Just looked at him in a way Jaime could not really describe.

The Mountain moved to draw his sword, but she stopped him. And she smiled.

Jaime could not even recognize her anymore.

‘It’s over. You’ve lost.’

She took a sip of her wine.

‘Bold of you to say, brother. The battle has not even began.’

Did she really think she could win?

‘You angered her. And dragon’s wrath is not something you can stop.’

She tilted her head and looked at him with curiosity.

‘Why are you here, Jaime?’

‘I’m here to make you see reason. Surrender now, ring the bells and let me get you out of here.’

She laughed bitterly.

‘So, I give that foreign whore all I’ve fought for all my life, just like that, and sail with you to the free cities where we live as beggars?’

‘No. You give up that damn throne that cost the lives of Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen, and save yourself and our unborn child.’

There was anger in his voice, and bitterness.

‘Don’t you dare talk about our children’

There were hatred and malice in hers.

Jaime really looked at her. At the way she dried her glass, at the shadow that darkened her eyes, at the way she clenched the throne with her hand. And he just knew.

‘There is no child, is there?’

She turned her eyes away from him.

‘There was. But not anymore.’

She was hurting. He could feel it. It pained him, too, to know that their child was no more.

‘I am sorry, Cersei. I truly am. I wanted this baby.’

She looked at him again. Her eyes were full of tears, but she did not let them fall. They were full of hatred too.

‘Did you? You didn’t seem to care for the baby when you left me. You didn’t seem to care when you jumped into that cow’s bed.’

Of course she knew, just as he suspected. And of course she was trying to hurt him.

‘I’ve always cared, that’s why I couldn’t just sit by while you put that damned chair before survival, of our child included.’

She shook her head.

‘You don’t even deny it. You are sleeping with that ugly mannish whore.’

She was trying to provoke him, trying to get him to act out of anger.

‘You won’t get into my head, Cersei. Not anymore.’

She gave Qyburn her empty glass and ordered him to pour her more wine.

Jaime stepped closer to her, until he was standing just a couple of steps before her.

She was cold. She was a monster. A part of him pitied her, another part of him was angry with her, another hated her. And some part of him still loved her. Not as before. But as his blood. As the little girl she used to be. And he did not want her dead.

‘Come with me. Live.’

She smiled.

‘Qyburn’

‘Yes, your grace.’

‘Now’

Jaime knew what she meant. She didn’t have to say it out loud.

The wildfire.

‘Cersei, stop this madness. Those people are innocent.’

Was she really that far gone? He himself had warned everyone so many times, but part of him still refused to believe she would really go through with it.

‘I don’t care. If I have to die, so will they. And she will have nothing. Burn them all.’

The memories flashed before his eyes.

Brandon and Rickard Stark burning alive.

The excitement in Aerys’s eyes when he watched them burn.

‘Burn them all! Burn them in their homes, burn them in their beds’

The smoke of the Great Sept of Balor.

Tommen’s broken body.

‘It ends now’ he thought. He closed his eyes for a second. He did not want to do this. But he had to.

Suddenly, she started coughing.

She got up and tried to walk, but she fell on her knees, blood started pouring from her nose.

The Mountain was about to go to her side when his brother entered the hall and the creature abandoned his queen and turned his attention to the Hound.

Cersei look at her glass of wine, the one Qyburn had poured her. And as she struggled to catch her breath, she knew he had betrayed her, too.

The weasel tried to leave the room, but Jaime did not give him the chance.

The disgraced maester had poisoned her because he did not want to die by wildfire for her. And while it may have saved them all, Jaime still drove his sword through his chest and dropped him lifeless on the ground.

Then he looked at Cersei again. Her nose and the corner of her mouth were bleeding, her skin was getting paler by the second. She reached her hand for him.

And he took her hand. Because despite everything, he did not want her to die alone.

‘Jaime’

‘I’m here, sister.’

‘I don’t want to die, Jaime.’

‘I know’

She struggled more and more to catch a breath now. She looked him straight in the eyes.

‘You love her, don’t you?’

‘I do’

And then she smiled. A twisted, blood covered smile, one full of malice.

‘You won’t be happy. I will always be there, I will always be with you. You will always be mine.’

Jaime looked her straight in the eyes.

‘No, Cersei. I will mourn you, but I will be happy. I am happy. I am hers now. I have been for a long time. And I always will be.’

Her eyes filled with horror, with fear, with desperation, with anger.

Not because she was dying.

But because she realized she had truly lost him.

And that realization was the last thing that graced Cersei Lannister’s mind before she drew her last breath.

Jaime looked at her one last time. He wiped the blood from her face and closed her eyes. He kissed her hair.

‘Goodbye, sister.’

With that, he got up and turned his back on her.

The Cleganes had killed each other it seemed. But Jaime had no time to think about them. As fast as he could, he ran to the Bell Tower. When he reached it, he could see the Iron fleet and the city wall in flames, Daenerys and her dragon landed near the city gates. And Jaime rang the bells.

He had done it. They had done it.

King’s Landing was taken without bloodshed.

It was over.

* * *

Sansa and Brienne were walking in the yard, overseeing the repairs, when they saw Bran wheeling his chair to them as fast as he could.

Brienne’s heart stopped as she looked at the boy.

‘Daenerys has destroyed to Red Keep, she burned down King’s Landing. The city has fallen apart.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you see, despite all, I didn't make Jaime valonquar. He was ready to do it. But I didn't want this weighting on him. And I wanted Cersei betrayed by everyone. I had him there when she died, but Cersei realising Jaime is lost to her. As everything else. And it is the ending she deserves in my eyes.  
> P.S. Probably the only things I liked about the finale and seemed GRRM-like to me were Arya going West, and Brienne filling out Jaime's pages in the Kingsguard book. And the way she ended it, it was everything!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are one or two chapters left, then an epilogue.

For a second, when he rang the bells, Jaime really thought they had managed to avoid the massacre.

How wrong he had been.

Daenerys Targaryen was burning King’s Landing to the ground, despite the bells of surrender.

It was the most horrific thing Jaime had ever seen.  And he had no way to stop her. All he could do was find his brother and Jon and make sure they were safe.

* * *

 

Jaime somehow made his way through the city. As he walked through the destruction, he thanked whatever Gods existed that Brienne was safe in the North, far from this hell. He tried to help as many people as he could, but what could any of them really do? What could women, children, and elders do against dragon fire? What could they do as their homes collapsed around them, as their flesh burned? What could he do to help them really?

Nothing.

At least it seemed to be over. For the moment anyway. The Mad Queen and her dragon were nowhere to be seen

The smell of burned flesh and ashes was choking Jaime as he made his way to the broken city gates. As he walked among the bodies of what used to be the most formidable mercenary army in the world, Jaime looked around, desperately praying not to see his brother among the corpses.

And then he saw him. Tyrion was running to him. Jaime rushed to his brother and dropped to his knees before him as he pulled him in a tight hug. Tyrion held him just as tight and when they pulled away, Jaime could see tears in his brother’s eyes.

“You’re alive! I thought…”

“We are both alive. Unlike so many others.”

Tyrion closed his eyes as he asked.

“Cersei?”

“She’s dead.”

Tyrion’s eyes snapped open.

“She’s dead… The child… Jaime, did you…?”

Jaime took a deep breath.

“The baby was no more. And no, I didn’t. I… was about to do it. She gave the order to blow up the city with the wildfire. I couldn’t let it happen. But Qyburn was not inclined to burn for his queen’s wishes. He poisoned her.”

It was harder on him than it should have been. She was a monster. And he really did hate her. He was ready to kill her himself. But he still hurt. He still wished she had seen reason and lived. He still hated Qyburn for killing her, even if he had to be grateful that it spared him from doing it himself. He still loved his sister.

“I’m sorry, Jaime.”

Jaime shook his head.

“Are you? Your beloved Dragon Queen would have killed her anyway. As she did hundreds of thousand civilians.”

Tyrion couldn’t even look him in the eyes. He just stared at the destroyed city in front of them.

“I rang the damn bells, Tyrion. Did the army surrender as well?”

Jaime’s voice was both angry and broken. 

Tyrion seemed to not even be able to say it out loud, so he just solemnly nodded.

“Where is she now?”

“I don’t know.”

“And Jon?”

“He went into the city with Davos.”

Jaime was both relieved and worried. So Jon was alive. For now. But what would the woman who burned hundreds of thousands of innocent people do to the man who threatened her claim to the throne?

“We need to find him. He is not safe.”

“She loves him.”

Jaime could sense Tyrion was trying to convince himself rather than him.

“She loves power, she loves fire and blood. Just like Aerys.”

* * *

 

When the Dragon Queen arrived at what remained of the gates of the Red Keep with her bloody dragon and addressed her armies in languages unknown to him, Jaime could not understand a word of what she said. But he knew one thing. It was not over. This had been just the beginning. From his position in the yard, he could see his brother throwing away his Hand of the Queen pin and her guards seizing him. He saw the look on Jon Snow’s face. A look he himself had borne many years ago.

When Daenerys left, Jaime knew where she was headed. But he knew the Red Keep better than her. He managed to get to the throne room unnoticed just mere moments after her. He saw her walk right past the Mountain and the Hound. He saw her stop and smirk at Cersei’s body on the steps. He saw her climb those steps and reach for the wretched throne.

“It is as uncomfortable as it is ugly”

Daenerys turned around surprised by his voice. She had come alone. She thought herself invincible. She looked at Jaime and smiled cruelly.

“Did your sister think so?”

“She loved that throne and it drove her mad. Just like your father. And you. She died for it. Just like your father. And as will you, no doubt. ”

Jaime walked toward her as she sat herself on the throne.

“Came to beg for your brother’s life?”

He barked a laugh. Did she, too, think him to be stupid? Naïve?

“No. I know you won’t show him mercy. It is not who you are, Daenerys Targaryen, daughter of Aerys, second of his name, protector of the realm.”

Jaime could see his taunt got to her. The fire in her eyes burned with a vengeance as she sat up.

“Do not dare to speak my father’s name!”

Jaime stopped right before her and kept his eyes on her.

“As you burned down the city, did you see the caches of wildfire that exploded?”

“The caches your sister placed.”

“She did. Some of them. But she was not the first one to do it. Many have been there for over twenty years. Your father placed wildfire all over the city, the Red Keep. And when he realized Robert Baratheon would win anyway, he ordered his pyromancer to ignite them and burn King’s Landing to the ground. ‘Burn them all’, he kept saying. I killed them both before I let it happen.”

He could see she didn’t know of that before. But Jaime also saw no blame, no regret, no condemning of her father’s actions in them. Not that he expected any.

“Shoving my sword through that mad old cunt’s back, slicing his throat, for so long I considered it my finest act. Until today.”

With his last words, he drew his sword. Daenerys was about to call for her dragon or for her soldiers, but he didn’t give her a chance. Twenty years ago, he stabbed Aerys Targaryen, the Mad King, in the back. Today, Jaime Lannister killed his daughter, the Mad Queen, shoving his sword directly in her heart, looking her in the eyes as she drew her last breath. And it felt good.

As he drew his sword from Daenerys’s chest and her body fell at the feet of the throne, Jaime heard footsteps approaching. He knew who it was before he turned around.

Jon Snow stood in the middle of the throne room.

“What did you do?”

Jaime walked to him and stood before him.

“What you came here for.”

At that moment, they heard the dragon approach. Instinctively, Jaime pushed Jon behind him as they both stepped backward toward the walls. The giant beast looked at the dead body of its mother and nudged her again and again. When it finally realized she was dead, it let out a piercing mourning cry before it turned to look at the two of them.

Jaime could see the pain in the dragon’s eyes. Beast or not, Drogon loved his mother.

And he was going to avenge her.

“Jon, get out of here, now!”

As Jaime tried to push Jon away, his mind went to Brienne. He pictured her eyes, her smile, he heard her voice, her laugh, he felt her touch, her kiss, her love.

His biggest regret when the dragon burned him would be that he would not get to go back to her.

As Jaime prepared for his inevitable death, the dragon opened its mouth and he could see the fire down his throat. He closed his eyes and pictured Brienne as he waited for the flames to engulf him.

But they never did.

Instead of roasting him alive, the dragon turned to the throne and breathed fire onto it as hard as it could. The blades soon started to melt and in mere seconds, the Iron Throne was a puddle of melted steel and nothing more.

The dragon then gently took Daenerys’s body and flew away with her.

Jaime released a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

The dragon had understood that this throne was the real doom of Daenerys, as it had been for many before her. Dragon fire forged it, and dragon fire destroyed it.

Jaime would be finding it poetic if he wasn’t just so glad to be alive. He turned around and saw the shock on Jon’s face. But they didn’t really have time to think much of what had transpired when the commander of the Unsullied arrived with two of his men. They must have seen the dragon flying away with Daenery’s body. When the leader of the Unsullied saw Jaime’s bloodied sword, he moved to attack him, his eyes full of pain and hatred, but Jon stopped him.

“Grey Worm, stop!”

Jaime sighed in defeat and grabbed Jon’s arm.

“Jon, it is alright. Let them have their revenge.”

“No!”

He sounded strong, determined. Like a true king. The Unsullied looked at Jon with anger.

“He killed our queen! He should die for it!”

“If ser Jaime hadn’t killed her, I would have. Grey Worm, this was not Daenerys anymore. She killed hundreds of thousands of innocent people. And she would’ve killed more. Do you think the queen who liberated you, who you called Mhysa, would’ve done that? Do you think Missandei would’ve condoned that? Daenerys was gone long before ser Jaime killed her.”

At the mention of Missandei, Grey Worm closed his eyes. Jon sighed.

“Grey Worm, I am sick of fighting. I am sick of death. But if you or your men try to harm ser Jaime or Lord Tyrion, I will. I hope I won’t have to. We all believed in her. I know you are mourning. I am too. But it is over.”

For the longest time, Jaime watched the commander of the Unsullied who shifted his gaze several times between him and Jon. Until he finally turned around and left.

Jon closed his eyes and sighed in relief.

“You didn’t have to do that. You should have let them kill me, it would have settled their anger.”

“I couldn’t let them kill you for doing what was right.”

Jaime looked at him with gratitude.

“Thank you for. Now, I want to get my brother and sleep for a sennight.”

* * *

 

Several hours later, after Tyrion was released and Jaime had told him everything, he had found himself in the Lord Commander’s chamber in the White Sword Tower, which surprisingly was practically unscathed.

It was quite strange for Jaime to be back there. It felt like a whole different lifetime when he was Lord Commander of the Kingsguard. And maybe it was, really. He was in the middle of remembering the day he gave Brienne Oathkeeper and the armor when he heard a knock on the door. Jon came in and Jaime greeted him.

“My lord.”

“Please, just call me Jon. I am sick of titles. And I think you and I are past formalities.”

The young man stood by the window and observed the still smoking remains of King’s Landing before he turned back to Jaime.

“You knew I was going to do it. So why did you kill her?”

Jaime sighed.

“You asked me once why I killed the Mad King. When he realized my father was sacking the city and Robert Baratheon was marching on, and defeat was inevitable, he ordered me to bring him my father’s head. And then he asked the pyromancer to blow up the whole city with cashes of wildfire he has placed under the whole King’s Landing and the Red Keep itself. So I killed the pyromancer, then stabbed the king in the back and sliced his throat.”

Jaime could see Jon was just partly surprised by his confession. He liked to think that by now, Jon knew he wouldn’t have done it just to please the winning side.

 “I killed Aerys to stop him from burning this city to the ground. I would’ve killed Cersei, my twin, the mother of my children, the woman I had loved for forty years, to stop her from burning this city to the ground if Qyburn hadn’t beaten me to it. It was killing me, but I was really going to do it. Daenerys Targaryen managed what they both couldn’t though. I rang the bells for surrender, the army surrendered and, still, she burned close to a million people alive. And she was going to do it again, and again, all over the world. I may have failed to stop her from destroying King’s Landing. But I would’ve been damned if I let her draw breath after what she did, and before I let her do it again.”

With a sigh, Jaime sat down on one of the chairs before he continues.

“If you had killed her, it would’ve destroyed you. I know the burden of regicide, I’ve carried it for over twenty years and it broke me almost completely. And I hated Aerys. If you had killed Daenerys, it would have been much worse for you than it was for me. Because mad or not, she was your blood, your kin, and you cared about her in some way. It would’ve eaten you up inside out. I wanted to spare you from those burdens. I’ve been called Kingslayer almost my whole life. What more is to add Queenslayer to it as well?”

Jon slowly sat down beside him.

“You know, you are nothing like what I thought you were. When I first met you, I thought you were an arrogant prick with not a single drop of honor in you.”

Jaime chuckled.

“Well, I was a pretty arrogant prick.”

Jon smiled tiredly.

“Yet, in your sarcasm, you warned me about what awaited me in the Night’s Watch in a way no one else did.”

“I know the illusions of knighthood, sworn brotherhoods and all that that a green boy has. But to be honest, I didn’t say those things from the kindness of my soul. It was bitterness and mockery. As you said – I was a prick.”

“You aren’t now though. You are an honorable man, a good man, a true knight. And you’ve been one of my strongest allies in those past few months. Thank you, for everything.”

Jaime doubted that Jon knew how much his words meant to him. All these years, the only people who had thought there was any good in him were Tyrion and Brienne. In the last few months, he had grown to respect and even admire Jon, for the man he was – brave, strong and honorable. And on top of that, he was Rhaegar’s son. His respect and gratitude meant more to Jaime than anyone, apart from Brienne, would know. Even if Jaime felt unworthy of it.

“I am the one who should be thanking you. You saved my life from the Unsullied’s vengeance. “

“Let’s say we’re even and leave it at that.”

Jon sighed and turned again to look through the window.

“Where do we go from here?”

“I know you don’t want to rule. But you should and you must.”

Jon shook his head.

“Just because Rhaegar Targaryen sired me doesn’t make it so. I helped her do this. I failed these people. Why should I rule just because of my name and the blood that runs through my veins? I never wanted to rule, nor do I deserve it.”

He felt guilty, Jaime knew it. Just like he himself felt guilty for helping Cersei in her monstrous deeds. But the difference was Jon didn’t know he was helping a monster, he had no way to know. And it was not his fault. Jaime had to make him see it.  

“No one could’ve stopped Daenerys Targaryen. It is not your fault. And you do deserve it. Not because your real name is Aegon Targaryen. This may be why it is your duty. But the reason you deserve it? It is because you are your fathers' son. Both of them. You are Eddard Stark’s son – he raised you, he taught you how to be the man you are today. But you are also Rhaegar’s son. He was good, he was noble not just by birthright, but of heart. He was strong but merciful, smart and kind. I see the best parts of him in you. And the best parts of Ned Stark as well. You went through a lot, you learned a lot. You will be the king the people deserve. You will hate it, but you will be damn good at it.”

Jaime could see Jon wanted nothing less than to rule. He understood him. After all, he himself would rather face the dead again rather than be king. But he could see that he knew it was the right thing to do and he was going to do his duty. And Jaime knew that it was exactly because Jon didn’t want the throne that was his birthright that he would be worthy of it.  

 “I have wronged your family, both of your families many times. I don’t regret killing Aerys, sure as the seven hells I don’t regret killing Daenerys. But I am sorry I didn’t protect your brother and sister the way I was supposed to, the way I promised your father I would. And what I did to Bran… It is the most despicable deed of my life. I can’t change the past. But if my word means anything to you, I swear that you will always have an ally in me, that I will give my life for yours if needed, that I will protect you and your family.”

Jon turned to him and smiled.

“I’d like to think we are more than just allies. I’d like to think we are friends, Jaime.”

Jaime smiled in return and nodded. Then, he got up and checked if his private stash of Dornish red was still where he kept it, and it was. He poured both Jon and himself a cup and sat beside him again and they drank in silence for a while.

“Gods, I miss Winterfell.”

“I miss it, too.”

Jon looked at him questioningly, obviously amused.

“Really? I think I overheard you saying ‘you hated the fucking North’?”

“Well, things change. It is home now.”

“You consider it your home?”

Jaime smiled.

“Home is where Brienne is.”

* * *

 

When the riders from Winterfell approached three weeks after the destruction of the city, Jaime ran in their direction, his eyes searching for her. And there she was. His wife, his love, his Brienne. When she met his eyes, she dismounted her horse and ran to him as well. In a moment, she was there, in his arms, where she belonged. They held tightly to each other, making sure it was real and not a dream. Brienne pulled away and took his face in her hands, looking at him with joyful tears in her eyes.

“I thought I lost you. When Bran told us what she did and that he didn’t know if you were alive…”

“I’m here, and I am not leaving your side again until the day I die.”

She grabbed his shirt and pulled him into a fierce kiss. When they pulled away, she smiled at him.

“Good, because if you do, I might beat you bloody.”

Jaime laughed as he pulled her in his arms again.

“I love you, too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really sorry for the long wait.   
> I had some computer issues, traveling, real-life troubles, etc. But I have to admit, because of some personal stuff, I lost most of my inspiration. Being on the brink of separation with the father of your child would do that to you. Still, I am sorry for the long wait and the shitty chapter.   
> I rewrote this several times, and I still hate this chapter.   
> I gotta say, my plan when I came back to this fic after 2 years was to have Jaime kill Cersei and Jon kill Dany before she destroyed King's Landing, right when she was about to do it. But somehow, it didn't feel right.   
> GRRM is big on kinslayers being cursed. And how could they not be - do you imagine what killing someone of your own blood would do to one's mind, even if it was justified? I didn't want that for Jaime or Jon.


End file.
